What’s in a Fantasy Name? Only Everything

The NBA Lockout has concluded. The players got played, and while anyone who doesn’t buy that assessment is encouraged to read Dave Zirin’s take, we owe it to the Hoop Gods, and ourselves, to press on.

Lots of rumors floating about as to how the 30 NBA teams will constitute themselves in the next 25 days, prior to the Christmas Day openers. Yet the situation is even more fluid on the fantasy front. Our league, Maine Hoops, has not even conducted the annual draft and poker bonanza; NBA free agency doesn’t commence until Dec. 9, and where those 30-odd influential players go will determine productivity not just for the 30, but for the rosters they join, or eschew.

The only responsible and productive thing to do, then, is to ponder the name of one’s fantasy team. Here is something we can control (our draft appears to be set for Sunday Dec. 18, with poker the night before).

My friend Jammin’ and I co-own a team that, during the 2010-11 season, went by the name of “Haitian Divorce”. We like the Steely Dan theme (see our team logo from last year, above), and while it’s not been formally decided, I’m lobbying for another show of faith in the mystical powers of Fagen and Becker.

What’s clear is that Haitian Divorce, despite the killer logo, didn’t do the job; we finished tied for 5th last year in our 13-team league. So allow me to enlist your input. Here are some alternatives, in keeping with the Steely Dan theme. Let me know which ones you like best, or feel free to suggest alternatives:

Black Cow

Hats & Hooters

The Caves of Altimira

Chase the Dragon

Can you tell I’m listening to Aja and Gaucho while mulling this extremely serious matter? Lyric excerpts work as well as actual song or album names. I’ve already dubbed the basketball podcast here at theaposition.com/halphillips “Glamour Profession”, so that’s out. Still, so much to choose from.

Schoolyard Supermen

Illegal Fun

LA Concession

Bodacious Cowboys

Mystical Sphere

Jammin weighs in with this: “If we must use a Steely Dan theme then the only choice would be Bad Sneakers… But it doesn’t really matter what we call our team because this is our year.”

True that.

 

 

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