Love That Tiger

(Courtesy of eyehook.com)

As the Tiagra Woods scandal continues to unfold, what were the odds that Valentine’s Day and the beginning of the Chinese New Year would coincide this year, unleashing the Chinese Year of the Tiger?

Well, they weren’t that good.  This is only the fourth time the two annual events have matched up on the calendar since 1900, and it’s not going to happen again for 38 years.  There are 12 creatures in the Chinese New Year rota: February 14, 1915 began the Year of the Rabbit; February 14, 1934 the Year of the Dog, and February 14, 1953 the Year of the Snake.  The Year of the Dragon begins February 14, 2048, or the Chinese year 4747.

There’s surely a way to calculate when the Year of the Tiger will again commence on February 14, but we’ll all be sleeping with kings and counselors by then, so I’m not going to try.  And I’m not going to try to make a further joke out of the situation, either, since the Tiger sex saga is already wearying.

Personally, I’ve gone from astonishment about the scope of it all, to laughing savagely at the jokes, to a cynicism about the inevitable script to unfold: the public contrition and claim of rehabilitation, the successful return to competition and the gradual refolding to the public breast.

Okay, poor word choice there, but it does point to the one unpredictable, and potentially hilarious element of The Next Phase–the gallery following Tiger around.  It surely won’t be any smaller than the former hordes he attracted, but the potential commentary is intriguing to ponder.  What happens after some joker lets loose the first bellow of the old, “Get in the hole!”?

Depends on reactions to the inevitable script, I imagine.  There will be guffaws and snickers and possible torment for Tiger as every move he makes is freighted with double entendre, or such vocal louts will be stoned to death for their insensitivity to golf’s risen Phoenix.

The inevitable script also suggests that the broadcast media will go ostrich, and treat any such razzing like a streaker at the World Series–that is, ignore it, and pretend distasteful things never happen.

I could be wrong about that one, but time, as usual, will tell.  Meanwhile, Happy Valentine’s Day, and Happy New Year for 4709, the Year of the Tiger.

[Click here to see a review of “The Swinger” and here for a piece about playing with Tiger.]

8 Responses to “Love That Tiger”

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  1. Joe O

    Well done, Tom. The phrase “You da man!” may seem redundant, at best. While a wayward drive might prompt warnings such as “Watch out for the fire hydrant! or “Don’t hit that big tree!” If it becomes the year of Tiger on the Tour, it will be an interesting one indeed.

  2. Tom Bedell

    Back from the PGA Show, where the word is that Tiger will again go on the prowl beginning with the Palmer Invitational at Bay Hill, in time to tune up for the Masters. Where he’ll fit in his appearance on Oprah is the question.

  3. John Mitchell

    After his first round or two, it will seem as if it never happened.
    He is too important to the game, the media and his avid fans.
    Well maybe the latenight comedians may hold on a little longer.

    As witness by the likes of “Jersey Shore”, the general public thrives
    on things like this.

    Nice job, Tom

  4. Tom Bedell

    You may well be right. I already sense that his time in rehab may do the trick as far as the public is concerned, and if Elin takes him back, well then….

    As for “Jersey Shore,” I can’t comment since I haven’t seen it. But I’ve heard stories, ya know whad I mean?

  5. John Mitchell

    Jersey Shore is a disgrace. It portrays not only Italian-Americans, but todays youth as degenirates who are solely concerned with the base things in life. I cant get over how the talk shows have raised them to a level of super-celebs.
    Nuff said.

  7. scott kauffman

    As the lone Chinese-American on the A Team, I couldn’t have found a better way to celebrate the Year of El Tigre than to read another humorous bit of prose! Well done partner. Keep up the great work!!

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