{"id":490,"date":"2009-10-08T16:16:14","date_gmt":"2009-10-08T23:16:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jeffwallach.com\/?p=490"},"modified":"2013-04-20T12:37:18","modified_gmt":"2013-04-20T19:37:18","slug":"shanks-for-the-memories","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theaposition.com\/jeffwallach\/golf\/instruction\/490\/shanks-for-the-memories","title":{"rendered":"Shanks for the Memories"},"content":{"rendered":"

\n\"Kapalua

Kapalua Golf Academy<\/p><\/div>\n

This story was written on a previous trip to Maui.<\/em><\/p>\n

This is what the shanks are like: you are a healthy, fit, athletic fifty-year-old man who still plays many sports competitively.\u00a0 One morning you wake up and go down to the kitchen for breakfast, and on your way back up to the bathroom you realize that you just cannot remember how to correctly climb the stairs.\u00a0 There\u2019s nothing wrong with you\u2014no cognitive meltdown, no physical infirmity.\u00a0 Your legs work fine, you feel good.\u00a0 You know you\u2019ve been up the stairs maybe a million times before in your life, but each time you try to ascend something happens.\u00a0 You fall down.\u00a0 You bark your shin.\u00a0 You forget how to lift your foot up to the next step.\u00a0 There is no explanation for this.<\/p>\n

So you go back into the kitchen, drink some more coffee, and then come back out and try again\u2014 and sure enough you still can\u2019t get up the stairs.\u00a0 So you think, well, as long as I don\u2019t need anything upstairs I ought to be fine.\u00a0 Until you realize that all your clothes are up there, so then you think: for fuck\u2019s sake, I know how to walk up the stairs, and you try again.\u00a0 And fail.\u00a0 And wonder if maybe nobody will notice if you go to work in your bathrobe.<\/p>\n

I am currently blogging from the Kapalua Resort on the island of Maui in Hawaii.\u00a0 This afternoon I played golf on the Plantation Course, one of the most visually intimidating golf courses ever built\u2014a big, handsome, bully of a course that would prove daunting enough even without the three-club sideways wind.\u00a0 Blind shots. \u00a0Carries over ravines as large as ocean trenches.\u00a0 Long approaches into canted greens firmer than trampolines.\u00a0 I played well, mostly, driving low under the wind, hitting most fairways.\u00a0 My approaches were crisply struck off the fluffy Bermuda grass, though a few missed the greens. \u00a0At one point, from thirty feet out, I tried to hit a cutesy bump and run with my 53-degree wedge\u2014my bread-and-butter shot.\u00a0 It went sideways.\u00a0 Literally.\u00a0 At a sharp ninety degree angle.\u00a0 I nearly hit one of my playing partners. \u00a0Then hit it sideways again before striking the next shot with my putter out of sheer embarrassment.<\/p>\n

And so it went throughout the day.\u00a0 I hit a lot of greens because I was highly motivated to do so, now fearing a short pitch from the fringe more than I fear Christopher Walken.\u00a0 But on several occasions I came up short, or hit and ran off into the second cut of the green surrounds.\u00a0 Pulling my long-reliable 53-degree from the bag, I tried to act as if nothing were amiss, and focused on years of short-game wizardry that led one friend to dub me \u201cthe up and down king.\u201d<\/p>\n

But in the back of my mind I knew it was coming\u2014that shadow of doubt proved big as a cruise ship.\u00a0 I tried to act normal, stepped up to that same shot, identified my target, and hit sideways again.<\/p>\n

Fortunately this was happening in as good a place as it could\u2014like having a heart attack in the waiting room of the cardiac care unit.<\/p>\n

\"Ben

Our hero, and sworn enemy of the shanks.<\/p><\/div>\n

After golf I proceeded directly to the Kapalua Golf Academy for a session with PGA instructor Ben Hongo.<\/p>\n

He watched me hit a few of the sideways shots and made a quick diagnosis.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t opening the clubface on impact, as I thought\u2014I was dead hoselling every shot.<\/p>\n

Hongo went into the Academy office and came back out with a painted two-by-four.\u00a0 I assumed he was simply going to smack me with it every time I shanked the ball\u2014and figured that was probably as good a remedy as any.\u00a0 But instead, he laid it along my target line, just on the far side of my golf ball.<\/p>\n

\u201cHit the ball without hitting the board,\u201d he instructed.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll be back in twenty minutes.<\/p>\n

At first I couldn\u2019t do it, and the club continually ricocheted off the wood.\u00a0 Eventually, my brain figured out that I needed to change my swing plane and turn my hands over to make the club avoid impact with the board.\u00a0 In ten minutes, all my shots, though still tentative, were heading where I aimed them.\u00a0 Long live Ben Hongo!<\/p>\n

When Hongo came back, he reassured me further by admitting that this same thing had happened to him in high school, and it stung for about two weeks.\u00a0 Student and teacher chatted amicably as I continued to demonstrate the efficacy of his teaching, the power of his wisdom.<\/p>\n

When our session was over, I asked if I could take a bucket of balls to the practice green to further imprint what I\u2019d learned and rebuild my confidence.\u00a0 And then, as soon as I was alone, the clouds shifted until they formed a giant fluffy white sign in the deep blue sky: Welcome To Shanksville. \u00a0I didn’t hit another straight shot during the next hour, as my hands grew raw and my temper frayed. \u00a0If only Ben hadn’t left the building.<\/p>\n

So now I\u2019m lying on the cushy chaise lounge in a room at the Ritz Carlton that is far too nice for the likes of me, with a Who concert blaring on the TV and the palms blowing crazily in the wind just off my balcony outside.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got a press dinner to attend tonight, and tomorrow, a round of golf scheduled at the breezy, easy-going Royal Kaanapali Golf Course.\u00a0 This is the working life of a travel writer: choose between the filet and the ahi this evening, sip pinot noir, order desert.\u00a0 Wake up for breakfast and head to the next golf course, where a lovely hostess awaits my arrival for a genial round on a gorgeous layout decorated by swaying palms and perfumed with ocean breezes.<\/p>\n

But all I feel is fear.\u00a0 As if I\u2019ve realized that there is something I urgently need upstairs, and I know I\u2019m unable to get it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This story was written on a previous trip to Maui. This is what the shanks are like: you are a… Read more »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":492,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,21,9,4907,5048,813701,822247],"tags":[5193,4090,944174,5735,944161,36,944162,944167],"class_list":["post-490","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-instruction","category-blog","category-golf","category-oregon-golf-assoc","category-alternative-golf-assoc","category-grw-hawaii","category-the-ritz-carlton-kapalua","tag-kapalua-golf-academy","tag-the-shanks","tag-kapalua-resort","tag-ben-hongo","tag-travel","tag-hawaii","tag-instruction","tag-blog"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/theaposition.com\/jeffwallach\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2009\/10\/Ben-Hong-face-shot2.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/theaposition.com\/jeffwallach\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/490","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/theaposition.com\/jeffwallach\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/theaposition.com\/jeffwallach\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theaposition.com\/jeffwallach\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theaposition.com\/jeffwallach\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=490"}],"version-history":[{"count":15,"href":"https:\/\/theaposition.com\/jeffwallach\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/490\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4417,"href":"https:\/\/theaposition.com\/jeffwallach\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/490\/revisions\/4417"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theaposition.com\/jeffwallach\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/492"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/theaposition.com\/jeffwallach\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=490"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theaposition.com\/jeffwallach\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=490"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theaposition.com\/jeffwallach\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=490"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}