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(Image courtesy of Daniel Pascoa)<\/em><\/p>\n I\u2019ve been around for a good long while, and if there\u2019s one thing I\u2019ve learned, it\u2019s that life is full of \u201cshoulds.\u201d You know what I mean: \u201cYou should do this,\u201d \u201cYou should have done that,\u201d or \u201cYou should absolutely, definitely eat more kale.\u201d \u201cShould\u201d is like that friend who shows up uninvited and hangs around with opinions nobody asked for.<\/p>\n Now, don\u2019t get me wrong\u2014I\u2019m not saying all \u201cshoulds\u201d are bad. Some are useful, like \u201cYou should wear your seatbelt\u201d or as my wife would tell me \u201cYou should probably check the expiration date on that.\u201d But many of the \u201cshoulds\u201d we encounter are more like overly strict rules someone made up along the way and passed down, and somehow we all decided to follow along without asking questions.<\/p>\n Take a look at society\u2019s idea of a \u201csuccessful life.\u201d There\u2019s this unwritten list: You should go to college, should get a good job, should settle down by a certain age, should buy a house, should save for retirement, should\u2026 you get the picture. The list goes on and on. I know, I’ve been guilty of plenty of expounding on the “shoulds.” Somewhere along the line, though, I started wondering why we put so much stock in this grand list of \u201cshoulds.\u201d Who even wrote this list? And did they have any fun at all?<\/p>\n Here\u2019s the thing: life isn\u2019t one-size-fits-all, and \u201cshould\u201d doesn\u2019t mean \u201cmust.\u201d<\/em> Just because there\u2019s a well-worn path doesn\u2019t mean you can\u2019t take a scenic route every now and then. Maybe you should go for the promotion, but maybe you\u2019re happier sticking where you are and spending more time with your family. You might hear that you should be saving every penny, but a spontaneous road trip with your friends might give you memories that are worth every dollar.<\/p>\n Let me give you a little personal example. Just after college, running was the craze. I was told I should run every morning because it\u2019s \u201cthe best way to stay fit.\u201d So I gave it a shot. Every morning, I\u2019d lace up my sneakers and jog around the neighborhood, barely awake and huffing along with all the enthusiasm of a sloth in a marathon. But I kept at it because I thought I \u201cshould.\u201d Then one day, I realized there was no fitness coach lurking around the corner waiting to shame me if I stopped. So, I quit the morning runs and switched to evening walks, which I actually enjoy. And guess what? My knees, feet, hips, and weight are all doing okay and I\u2019m still in good shape, and a whole lot happier with my new routine.<\/p>\n The \u201cshoulds\u201d in life can box you in if you\u2019re not careful. They can make you feel like you\u2019re behind or that you\u2019re failing if you\u2019re not checking off every item on some imaginary list. But here\u2019s the truth: nobody gets to the end of their life and wishes they\u2019d followed more \u201cshoulds.\u201d We wish for more laughter, more love, more courage to do things our own way.<\/p>\n Think about it: kids don\u2019t care about \u201cshoulds.\u201d They don\u2019t worry about what\u2019s proper or productive; they do what makes them happy. Ever watch a child refuse to eat broccoli while crafting an elaborate story about dragons? They\u2019re busy creating their own world, \u201cshoulds\u201d be damned. Somewhere along the way, we lose that freedom to just be and do what feels right. We get so wrapped up in society\u2019s expectations that we forget we have a choice in the matter.<\/p>\n At this stage of the game, I\u2019ve decided that life is less about doing what you \u201cshould\u201d and more about doing what brings you joy, peace, and a sense of purpose. Yes, be reasonable, but sometimes you should take the road less traveled, not because it\u2019s the \u201cright\u201d path, but because it\u2019s the one that lets you dance a little. And yes, you should get up early every now and then, but if you sleep in on a Sunday and wake up to the sound of birds chirping at 10 a.m., I say that\u2019s a gift, not a missed opportunity.<\/p>\n So, my advice to you is this: listen to your own voice a little more. The world will always be full of people telling you what you should do, but they\u2019re not the ones living your life. You are. So, put down the kale if it doesn\u2019t taste good to you. Take that extra nap. Spend a day doing absolutely nothing if that\u2019s what your soul needs. Don\u2019t worry about all the \u201cshoulds\u201d you\u2019ve been handed; worry about the life you want to live.<\/p>\n And, most importantly, don\u2019t let anyone (not even yourself!) tell you you should have done things differently. Your life, your choices, and the moments that make you smile are all the things that make it worth living. So, the next time a \u201cshould\u201d comes knocking, ask yourself: \u201cDo I want this? Will it bring me joy? It is harmless?\u201d If the answer is yes, go for it. If not, feel free to send that \u201cshould\u201d on its merry way.<\/p>\n \u00a0Bob Fagan has just published\u00a0“The Little Book of Questions That Matter — A Lifetime Companion For Transforming Your Life.”\u00a0It is available on Amazon.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"