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(Image by Nicola Konig, unsplash.com)<\/em><\/p>\n Are you an asshole? Have you ever been an asshole? If not an asshole, are you sometimes a challenge to deal or get along with? If you answered “yes” to any of this, don’t fret. Most of us have had our moments. Here are some ways out?<\/p>\n Let\u2019s be honest: there are days when you wake up, look in the mirror, and realize you\u2019re one snarky comment away from being an irredeemable jerk. Maybe you\u2019re behind on sleep, or your coworker did that \u201cthing\u201d again, or the barista spelled your name \u201cMichelle\u201d instead of \u201cMichele\u201d for the millionth time. In those moments, it\u2019s so easy to snap, to let the impatient, self-righteous side of you out to run wild. You might find yourself quietly snarling at the dog for barking, or throwing shade at the car in front of you for going two miles under the speed limit. But deep down, you don\u2019t actually want to be That Person. The world\u2019s already got enough negativity swirling around, like a cosmic junk drawer stuffed with all the frustrations we never sorted. The question is: How do we do better?<\/em><\/p>\n The first step to becoming less of an asshole is to admit you are one sometimes. It\u2019s a humbling epiphany, the kind that can sting worse than your first heartbreak. But oh, the liberation when you finally say: \u201cYes, I can be difficult. I can be petty. I can be the person who cuts in line at the grocery store when I think no one\u2019s watching.\u201d We name it so it doesn\u2019t own us.<\/p>\n I know, I know. \u201cTiny kindnesses\u201d sounds about as exciting as collecting lint. But here\u2019s the thing: we often believe we need some grand philanthropic crusade to redeem ourselves. In reality, we just need small, daily gestures. Give your friend a sincere compliment. Smile at the cashier. Send that \u201cHey, I appreciate you\u201d text to someone who is the invisible scaffolding in your life. It might feel awkward at first, like you\u2019re reading from a script. But eventually, it becomes the real you. And you\u2019ll be surprised how a simple \u201cThank you for being you\u201d can dissolve a mountain of cynicism\u2014both yours and someone else\u2019s.<\/p>\n If you\u2019re a normal, breathing human being, you\u2019ve got baggage\u2014old hurts, regrets, insecurities. You might even have a matching luggage set of heartbreak, a carry-on of parental issues, or a trunkful of unprocessed rage from that time your best friend forgot your birthday. The problem isn\u2019t the baggage itself. It\u2019s what we do with it when we\u2019re feeling threatened or run-down. We fling it around like confetti, spattering everyone else with the debris of our unresolved stuff. So, let\u2019s practice noticing. When the temperature in your chest starts to rise, ask: \u201cWhat\u2019s happening inside me right now?\u201d Then let yourself feel it, even if it\u2019s not pretty. Because ignoring it only sets the stage for a meltdown at the next provocation.<\/p>\n One thing that can break the asshole cycle is wonder. It\u2019s a spiritual practice in itself, noticing that the sky is a different shade of pink tonight, or that your neighbor\u2019s kid overcame stage fright in the school play. Being awed by small miracles pulls you out of the center of your self-important bubble. There\u2019s this roomy perspective that emerges, a reminder that life is bigger than your petty irritations. When you let wonder flood in, you have less room for pettiness and more for gratitude.<\/p>\n Sometimes, you might need to protect others from your lesser angels. If you\u2019re feeling like the day is shaping up to be one big meltdown, set some boundaries. For instance, maybe don\u2019t scroll through that social media thread that\u2019s guaranteed to enrage you. Don\u2019t pick a fight with your spouse at 11 p.m. when you\u2019re both exhausted. Don\u2019t text your ex after your third glass of wine. By anticipating your triggers, you can short-circuit the avalanche of jerkiness that might otherwise tumble forth.<\/p>\n No matter how hard you try, you\u2019ll still slip up. You\u2019ll say something cutting, or your impatience will boil over at the wrong time. Here\u2019s the critical difference between continuing down the path of jerkdom and turning things around: apology.<\/em> Not the halfhearted \u201csorry you got offended\u201d brand, but the \u201cI\u2019m sorry for being hurtful, and I\u2019m going to work on not doing it again\u201d kind. It\u2019s humbling. It\u2019s uncomfortable. But it\u2019s also a key step in mending relationships and your own soul. Each genuine apology is like dropping a pebble of peace into the pond of your daily life; the ripples can be healing, both for you and the people around you.<\/p>\n Paradoxically, being less of an asshole involves letting yourself be human. If you beat yourself up every time you fall short, you risk spiraling into shame and frustration, which ironically can lead you right back into more jerk-like behavior. A gentle sense of humor about your imperfections goes a long way. You forgot your friend\u2019s birthday? Send a heartfelt note. You snapped at a coworker? Bring them a coffee the next day with a real apology. You are a work in progress, always. Embrace that, because the more compassion you show yourself, the more you\u2019ll have for others.<\/p>\n Transformation isn\u2019t an overnight phenomenon. It\u2019s the sum of daily choices, daily acts of kindness, and daily moments of humility. Some days, you\u2019ll crush it\u2014radiating compassion and wit like you\u2019re the Dalai Lama\u2019s stand-up comic understudy. Other days, you\u2019ll find yourself impatient in traffic, cursing the slow driver as though they\u2019re personally sabotaging your future. That\u2019s okay. Keep showing up. Keep trying again. Because it\u2019s in this process of messing up, apologizing, and leaning in to do better that we become the kinder, more authentic people we want to be.<\/p>\n We live in a world that can feel harsh and chaotic. People are hurting, and it\u2019s all too easy to add to the negativity. It’s not always easy being a decent human. But every time we choose to be a bit kinder, to be just a smidge less reactive, we do our part in weaving a more compassionate tapestry for everyone else. So, maybe that\u2019s what it\u2019s all about: acknowledging our capacity for jerkiness while stepping steadily toward grace. In doing so, we help ourselves and each other rediscover the hope and beauty that still exists in the cracks of daily life.<\/p>\n Remember:<\/strong> The journey toward being less of an asshole isn\u2019t about becoming a saint overnight. It\u2019s about recognizing that your actions matter, your words matter, and the small choices you make can either heal or harm. May you choose healing more often than not\u2014and find, in the process, that you\u2019re worthy of love and belonging, flaws and all.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Step One: Own Your Inner Asshat<\/h4>\n
Step Two: Practice Tiny Kindnesses<\/h4>\n
Step Three: Check Your Baggage (But Don\u2019t Shame It)<\/h4>\n
Step Four: Rediscover Wonder<\/h4>\n
Step Five: Build Boundaries (Yes, Even with Yourself)<\/h4>\n
Step Six: Apologize Early and Often<\/h4>\n
Step Seven: Practice Grace Toward Yourself<\/h4>\n
Step Eight: Keep Showing Up<\/h4>\n
Why It Matters<\/h3>\n