At the 2021 PGA Championship, as Phil Michelson strode up the 18th fairway with a mob of screaming fans behind and him giving like 50 of his signature thumbs-up, he was on top of the sports world. With that victory he became the oldest player to win a major and earned exempt status for five years for all PGA tour events. His win came out of nowhere at Kiawah as his 115th in the world ranking was the lowest for a major winner since Shaun Micheel won the PGA in 2003. His play in the future five years on the PGA Tour might not have garnered him much in the way of winnings but his play on the Champions Tour was another story. He had won four of the six tournaments he competed in earning over $1.5MM in those starts. He was sure to have a Ryder Cup captainship in the next decade in a time when Team USA is desperate for competent leadership from their captains. He also showed elite potential talent as a broadcaster when he provided commentary at COVID-era The Match events. You could easily see him manning the broadcast booth for 20 years a la Johnny Miller but with a better sense of humor. He had endorsement deals with KPMG, Workday, Callaway and Amstel Light worth approx. $42 million annually. He was incredibly beloved by the golf community and had crossed over to mainstream celebrity. My wife, who knows only 4 golfers (Tiger, Phil, Scottie and Rory), despite my watching golf endlessly on weekends, calls him the water buffalo because when he wore his hair longer it flowed out from under his hat like a water buffalo’s horns.
Phil
Water Buffalo
[Despite being a very public figure for the last 35 years there are few pictures of Phil Mickelson in the public domain, which are the photos that are ok to use without paying a fee. Since I don’t make a whole lot of money putting out this content, it’s more of a service for you, I just use what I can use for free and this photo doesn’t really show Phil in full water buffalo mode but you get the idea.]
So to recap, in 2021 he was maybe even more beloved than Tiger who while incredibly popular was aloof and a bit awkward in the limelight. All of that abruptly ended when LIV started and he made his infamous “scary motherf-ers” comment, referring to the government of Saudi Arabia. In the aftermath he lost most of his endorsement deals. Now I personally was glad that Workday deal ended because those “business caddie” commercials were honestly awful. Recently, there were reports he made unwanted advances on a 19 year old at the Farms club where he belongs and to understand how bad it was, they literally dragged him off the course mid-round. Then there was a bombshell story from Alan Shipnuck on the Skratch website, where, among other allegations, he showed a picture of himself naked, flexing his bicep with an erection to Pat Perez’ then-wife, Ashley, while Pat was in the bathroom at Phil’s house. He then suggested that she come visit him later that night, his bedroom door would be open. So…a few questions; who just has an image like that ready to pop open? You scroll through all the cute dog and kid pics to find that one. I’m guessing he has a bunch of these dick pics on his phone; one with both biceps, one with just the pecs, maybe straight ahead and in profile? All this while Pat was in the bathroom? Then she’s supposed to leave her room with Pat and just go on over to Phil’s room? Pat must be a really sound sleeper. And my guess it wasn’t the first time he’s done that to some horrified friend’s wife. I mean if you aren’t expecting that, and who would be, it has to catch you a little off guard. Is there any preamble? “Hey Ashley, check out this great pic of my biceps?” Or do you just hand the phone over with that pic already on the screen?
He also would stuff his cell phone in his friend’s golf bags while they were golfing so his wife, who was tracking his phone, wouldn’t know he was with some woman. This is sort of brilliant and I want everyone reading this to know I would never need to do this. So how does Phil come back from all this? Does he need a PR firm to handle crisis management? Does he ignore this and slowly return to golf in the events he can play in? How about a counter-attack? Let’s look at two examples from history to see how he could handle this.
Tiger Woods
In 2010, Tiger held a high-profile press conference apologizing to his wife, his family, his friends, his business partners and anyone who cheered for him, basically everyone in the entire world. He apologized sincerely, specifically, with no caveats and repeated the apology for multiple transgressions. He also promised to be a better man, get back to his roots in Buddhism and continue in therapy. He made the apology with his mom, Kultida, sitting in the front row. So how effective was the apology, probably a 5 out of 10. He’s absolutely sincere but the damage was already mostly done. He did help his brand enough to keep Nike and EA Sports sponsorships but most of his other endorsement contracts had already been severed or were allowed to expire. The one person this was probably intended for most, Elin, did not attend and finalized her generational wealth strategy by divorcing him about six months later. Also, in the moment the speech itself was as uncomfortable as it sounds like it would have been and re-watching it 16 years later it wasn’t any less awkward. His mom is sitting in the front row and we all know he’s apologizing for having multiple years-long affairs with IHOP waitresses, Las Vegas nightclub hostesses and porn stars.
Richard Nixon
Another example that goes way back to 1952 was when then United States Senator and Vice Presidential candidate Richard Nixon gave his Checkers speech. Nixon had been accused of using a fund from campaign donations to pay staffers and campaign travel expenses, a scandal which seems very quaint in light of the enormous grift going on today. Apparently, he didn’t actually break any laws but it was a bad look for someone who had fought government corruption as a Senator. He blamed left wingers and communists which, of course he did, but when the furor refused to die down he bought a half hour of national air time for $75,000 and gave what eventually was called the Checkers speech. In it he claimed he did nothing wrong, he again blamed communists and famously said that one campaign contribution was a Cocker Spaniel, that his 6 year old daughter had named Checkers and, by gum, he was not going to give that back. How effective was this? Well, the Eisenhower-Nixon ticket won the 1952 election and Nixon would eventually be elected to two terms as President, which ended in his resignation for authorizing a burglary and covering it up. Overall, it worked brilliantly.
So what should Phil do? I like a combination of the two approaches. Phil could adopt a rescue, something a little different than a cocker spaniel so as not to obviously copy Nixon, say, a Jack Russell terrier. Let’s say the dog was mistreated and that it was a “bait” dog, used for dog fighting and because of this, he lost a leg. Also, he could give it a cute golf related name, Jack Micklaus. Then have him, Amy and his mom, Mary, all gather for a softball interview with Jim Gray. Both his wife and his mother survived breast cancer scares so he could have them both talk about their battles. He could have tears welling up as he described the circumstances of how little Jack Micklaus was found. After that he brings it all back to how everyone in the family are fighters: him, his wife, his mom and even little Jack Micklaus! He’s going to fight for his family and be a better man. Does he apologize? Yes, but obliquely and non-specifically, he doesn’t want to dwell in the past. He just wants to move forward. He doesn’t want to apologize too much but he doesn’t want to apologize too little. He could talk about getting back to his Buddhist roots but he doesn’t have any so he says he’s been looking into Scientology, which seems perfectly believable for Phil. He also reveals he has a new close friend and then Tom Cruise comes out, hops on the couch and talks about their journey together with Scientology.
This Is Obviously AI
Since pictures of Phil Michelson cost money I asked Gemini to create a photo of how this interview would look without any copyright infringement. After a few prompts to get everything right, Gemini got close. It’s the perfect setting for a national audience to really get behind this apology/non apology. I think Tom Cruise is a little too close to the actual Tom Cruise so just to let everyone know, I asked Gemini for a Tom Cruise look-a-like not Tom Cruise. I think this picture could be the first step in rehabilitating Phil Michelson’s image and it would be better than any selfies he’s got on his phone.
