(Photo courtesy of Ava Sol)
When I would meet a new client, I would ask them about themselves. That would include what they wanted to accomplish and why. Invariably, they begin to tell me their stories. The worse they feel and the more out of alignment they would be, the more assumptions, limited perspectives, mistakes, and faulty memories encompassing victimhood would come forth. Typically, before the age of seven they had established strong limiting beliefs that have continued to rule their life.
I have my stories as well. In the areas of my life that I struggled with, those stories were always limiting. With coaching, I learned that in order to change my results, I had to reframe or rewrite those stories. It has not been about creating false narratives, but looking at things from different perspectives and time frames, as well as questioning the validity of the source of my beliefs.
We are the stories we tell ourselves. These narratives, shaped by experiences, beliefs, and societal conditioning, become our internal compass, guiding our choices, actions, and emotions. Often, they are shaped by folks that are struggling with their own stories or have been stymied by their own limiting beliefs. As children we may also experience only small pieces of a circumstance and mistakenly feel it is all about us. What if the story you’ve been living isn’t serving you? Yes, it would be time to rewrite the script.
Is your life script filled with limitations? “I’m not good enough,” “I don’t deserve success,” or “I’m destined for mediocrity.” These narratives are invisible chains. They restrict our potential and prevent us from reaching our full potential. This is where the power of storytelling comes in.
Most life coaches as I do, have had our own coaches. Life coaches are masters of narrative transformation. They help clients identify limiting beliefs and replace them with empowering stories. While the conventional therapy may be interesting, and understanding your past may better feed your curiosity, coaching tends to focus more quickly on the present and future. It’s about shifting perspective, challenging assumptions, and creating new possibilities. For instance, a client struggling with self-doubt might be guided to focus on past achievements, highlighting resilience, and overcoming obstacles. They would then commit to a course of action and be held accountable to such by their coach. This narrative shift can ignite a sense of confidence and determination.
Consider the story of an athlete who believes they lack talent. A coach might challenge this narrative by exploring past successes, highlighting natural abilities, and emphasizing the role of hard work and dedication. Sometimes creating a better system by which to train and develop can be the key. By reframing the story, the athlete can develop a growth mindset and unlock their full potential. As I was fortunate to win while playing competitive and professional golf, my growth spurts came much quickly and directly from my disappointments than any victories.
Similarly, someone struggling with relationship issues might be trapped in a narrative of victimhood. A life coach can help them rewrite this story by focusing on personal responsibility, communication skills, and the power of choice. By taking ownership of their role in the relationship, they can create new opportunities for connection and growth. Becoming the person you want to attract works wonders.
Of course, rewriting your story isn’t about denying past experiences or pretending they didn’t happen. It’s about finding new meaning in those experiences and using them as a catalyst for personal growth. It’s about recognizing that you are the author of your own story, and you have the power to change the narrative at any time.
So, the next time you find yourself stuck in a limiting story, stop it. Remember that you have the ability to rewrite it. Victim stories may get you some attention, but they tend to be boring, bringing the energy you exude down. Challenge your assumptions, explore new perspectives, and create a narrative that empowers you. Your life is a story waiting to be written. The pen is in your hand.
