(Photo courtesy of Jehyun Sung)
When we think of great leaders, our minds often leap to charismatic figures giving rousing speeches, or authoritative executives issuing commands. But what if the best leaders are the ones you hardly notice at all? This might sound counterintuitive, but some of the most effective leadership happens quietly, behind the scenes, with little fanfare. The true genius of leadership is not in making sure people know who’s in charge, but in empowering others so much that they take ownership of success themselves. This is the style that was impressed upon me growing up and what I tried to embrace.
There’s an ancient wisdom in this idea, beautifully captured by Lao Tzu in his Tao Te Ching. He wrote: “A leader is best when people barely know that he exists. Not so good when people obey and acclaim him. Worst when they despise him. But of a good leader, who talks little, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will all say, ‘We did this ourselves.’”
So, what does this type of leadership look like in the modern world? And why is it so effective?
The Quiet Leader: Letting Actions Speak
We live in an age of self-promotion, where success is often measured by how many people know your name or how many followers you have on social media. But history has shown us that the leaders who make the most lasting impact are those who focus less on themselves and more on their team. Take Warren Buffett, for example. Despite being one of the wealthiest individuals in the world, he’s known for his unassuming lifestyle and his tendency to avoid the spotlight. His focus has always been on his work and his investments, not on personal glory. Buffett’s style of leadership is not about issuing orders, but about building trust and providing guidance to those he believes in. In the end, the people around him feel empowered to make decisions and take ownership of their successes.
Or think of Nelson Mandela. After 27 years in prison, Mandela became the first black president of South Africa and led the country out of apartheid. But despite his status, Mandela was never one to make leadership about his own power or fame. Instead, he encouraged others to take responsibility for the country’s transformation. He led by example, showing the power of forgiveness and reconciliation, which enabled South Africa to move forward. When his work was done, many South Africans felt they had brought about change themselves, inspired by his quiet strength.
Empowerment Over Control
One of the main advantages of this “silent leadership” is the way it empowers others. When a leader steps back and allows people the space to make their own decisions, it fosters a sense of responsibility and ownership. Suddenly, success isn’t about following someone else’s orders—it’s about the team’s collective achievement. And that sense of accomplishment is far more powerful than anything a top-down directive could ever create.
Steve Jobs, despite being known for his intensity, also embraced this principle. He famously said, “It doesn’t make sense to hire smart people and tell them what to do; we hire smart people so they can tell us what to do.” He knew that the key to Apple’s success wasn’t his own brilliance alone, but the empowerment of the brilliant people around him.
By giving others the opportunity to lead in their own right, these leaders create an environment of trust, collaboration, and innovation. When people are trusted to take ownership of their work, they are more engaged, more motivated, and more likely to succeed.
The Dangers of Overbearing Leadership
On the flip side, we’ve all experienced or heard stories of leaders who demand too much attention or control. The leader who insists on micromanaging every aspect of a project, who craves constant recognition, or who treats others as instruments of their own success. These leaders might get results in the short term, but they often do so at the cost of morale and long-term productivity.
This is because people don’t feel valued when they’re constantly being told what to do. They may follow orders, but they don’t feel invested in the outcome. And eventually, this leads to resentment and disengagement. The more a leader demands credit or control, the less ownership the team feels, and the more likely they are to burn out or become disillusioned.
Conclusion: The Strength of Humility
The best leaders are the ones who recognize that leadership isn’t about them—it’s about the people they serve. True leadership is about helping others find their own strength, offering guidance when needed, but knowing when to step back. It’s about celebrating the team’s success, not your own.
As Lao Tzu reminds us, “Fail to honor people, and they fail to honor you.” But if you lead with humility, you’ll find that when your work is done, those around you will say, “We did this ourselves.” And that, ultimately, is the greatest achievement any leader can hope for.
Bob Fagan has just published “The Little Book of Questions That Matter — A Lifetime Companion For Transforming Your Life.” It is available on Amazon.
