(Photo courtesy of Luba Ertel)
We’ve all been there – those days when it feels like the world is personally plotting against us. You spill coffee on your shirt right before a big meeting, the Wi-Fi goes out during a critical presentation, or maybe you scroll through social media only to see everyone else’s life looking picture-perfect. Before you know it, you’re sighing, “Why me?” or “Why don’t I have what they have?” But let’s take a moment to breathe, because life doesn’t have to feel this heavy. In fact, when we learn to shift our perspective, those heavy thoughts start to lift – and with them, so do our spirits.
Let’s start with a story about J.K. Rowling. Before she became one of the world’s best-selling authors, she was a single mother living on welfare, feeling like life was a series of misfortunes. Her initial Harry Potter manuscript was rejected by twelve publishers. It would have been easy to think, “Why is nothing working out for me?” But Rowling didn’t quit. She kept going, focused on her passion, and eventually found success beyond what she’d ever imagined. Sometimes, life is setting us up for something better; it just doesn’t feel that way at the time. What we perceive as obstacles may actually be part of the journey that gets us where we’re meant to go.
Comparison is often what turns little bumps into mountains. Take Amy Purdy, a professional snowboarder and motivational speaker who lost both her legs below the knee at 19. It would have been natural to focus on what she lost or what others had that she didn’t. But instead, she made a decision to see her situation differently. Amy chose gratitude for what she could still do, and with that positive mindset, she became a Paralympic medalist and an inspiration to millions. Her story reminds us that when we stop comparing and start focusing on what’s possible, we find strength we didn’t know we had.
It’s helpful to look at setbacks as part of the process rather than personal failures. Jim Carrey, one of the most famous comedians, went through his own period of struggle. Growing up in a family that experienced poverty, he had to work as a janitor while pursuing his dream of becoming an actor. He faced countless rejections and disappointments. But Carrey didn’t let those struggles define him. Instead, he famously wrote himself a $10 million check as a reminder of his goals, and kept pushing forward. It’s a reminder that when life feels like it’s holding us back, it might actually be building our resilience for what’s next.
One of the quickest ways to lift ourselves out of the “why me?” mindset is to practice gratitude. When we stop and acknowledge the good things we have – even if they’re small, like a warm cup of tea, a friend’s text, or a sunny day – we start shifting our focus from what’s wrong to what’s right. Take Oprah Winfrey, who openly talks about her habit of keeping a gratitude journal. Despite her incredible success, she finds value in grounding herself by jotting down daily moments of gratitude. Oprah’s story shows that gratitude isn’t just for “perfect” days; it’s a tool to keep us centered and positive even when life gets tough.
Now, I’m not suggesting we need to be relentlessly positive or ignore genuine struggles. Sometimes things genuinely are hard. But when we make small shifts in how we interpret our challenges, they become easier to handle. As author Wayne Dyer said, “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” When we approach life’s difficulties as temporary, and often necessary, parts of growth, we start to see each challenge as a stepping stone rather than a stumbling block.
So, the next time you feel weighed down by the world, try reframing your thoughts. Remind yourself that every success story you’ve ever heard involved setbacks, failures, and moments of doubt. Instead of comparing your path to someone else’s highlight reel, focus on what makes your journey unique. Celebrate the little victories, let gratitude lift your spirits, and remember that this too shall pass.
We’re all allowed those “why me?” moments – they’re human. But by practicing gratitude, embracing setbacks as part of the process, and seeing the beauty in our own journey, we can shift the narrative. Life may sometimes feel heavy, but with a lighter mindset, we can lift ourselves back up and keep going. After all, life’s most beautiful views often come after the hardest climbs.
Bob Fagan has just published “The Little Book of Questions That Matter — A Lifetime Companion For Transforming Your Life.” It is available on Amazon.
