(Photo courtesy of Khashayar Kouchpeydeh)
Life has a way of testing us, often right at the edge of something incredible. The best things – those peak experiences, achievements, and moments of growth – don’t come easily. They sit just beyond resistance, fear, and doubt, daring us to break through. We all feel the weight of self-doubt, the urge to pull back when things get uncomfortable, and the whisper of “What if I fail?” But what if, instead of holding us back, these feelings were signposts guiding us to our greatest potential?
Take Steven Pressfield’s words in The War of Art: “The more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.” Resistance, fear, and doubt often feel like stop signs, but in reality, they’re more like a compass, pointing us toward what truly matters. When we’re scared of something, it’s often because it has real meaning to us. The more intense our fear, the more life-changing the journey could be. That fear isn’t a barrier; it’s an invitation to lean in.
Think of J.K. Rowling, who faced countless rejections before Harry Potter became a global phenomenon. She was a struggling, single mother, burdened by the weight of doubt and financial insecurity. It would have been easy to quit, to believe the publishers who told her no, and to let her fears win. But Rowling kept pushing, kept believing, even when her circumstances looked bleak. Today, her story stands as a testament to what lies beyond resistance. Rowling’s success wasn’t just about her talent but her refusal to let doubt be the final word.
Fear is a powerful thing. It convinces us to stick to what’s safe, to play small, to stay in our comfort zones. Yet, as Tony Robbins famously says, “The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably deal with.” When we face our fears, we’re allowing ourselves to expand, to grow in ways that wouldn’t be possible if we stayed comfortable. The best moments in life – those big leaps forward – require us to sit with uncertainty, to confront the unknown, and to trust that we’ll find our footing. Whether it’s starting a business, moving to a new city, or pursuing a creative dream, real growth happens when we’re willing to live with a bit of fear.
Doubt is no less of a roadblock. Many of us struggle with a voice that says, “Are you really capable? Do you really deserve this?” These questions can paralyze us if we let them. But think about the world’s greatest athletes, artists, and leaders – every one of them has faced moments of doubt. Michael Jordan, one of the greatest basketball players of all time, famously said, “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times, I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” Jordan didn’t let doubt stop him; he used it as motivation. Doubt, when we confront it, can fuel us to work harder, to improve, and to reach new heights.
I know about this subject. At the age of fifty, after a fairly successful of accomplishment, I was humbled for nearly a decade partially by circumstances, but also my own resistance. I was forced to be fully accountable for myself and look at alternative ways of making a living. Some were scary, all appeared difficult. If I hadn’t taken a leap into uncertainty, you wouldn’t be reading this now and my life almost certainly would have crumbled. Facing my fears and doubts, I discovered ways of helping others, and in doing so, rescued myself. What appeared a tragedy ended up an immense period of growth. Once I jumped over that line of doubt, fear, and resistance, I discovered them to be just illusions. You can too!
When we look at resistance, fear, and doubt as tools rather than obstacles, we unlock a powerful shift. Instead of being afraid of what might go wrong, we start seeing what could go right. We stop being scared of failure and start embracing the journey. The best things in life – the fulfillment, the pride of achievement, the thrill of reaching a goal – are born out of a willingness to keep going even when it feels uncomfortable.
So next time you feel the pull of resistance or the sting of doubt, remember that they’re part of the path, not barriers to your dreams. Every major achievement, every life-changing experience is on the other side of these feelings. Breakthroughs come to those who push past fear, who embrace discomfort, and who trust that something amazing awaits.
The best things in life aren’t handed to us; they’re earned on the other side of resistance. They’re found in the willingness to keep going when things feel hard, to take a leap when you’re unsure, and to trust that what’s waiting is worth every ounce of effort. Let fear, resistance, and doubt fuel your journey forward, guiding you to places you never thought you could reach.
Bob Fagan has just published “The Little Book of Questions That Matter — A Lifetime Companion For Transforming Your Life.” It is available on Amazon.
