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Have you ever met anyone who was really authentic that you couldn’t somehow like or at least respect? How about yourself? I feel that authenticity is a major component of feeling good and becoming our best self. It does not mean having to have everything figured out. It’s more about accepting everything you already are. Once you do that, it relieves a lot of pressure
Imagine this: your life is a grand gathering, and every part of you shows up. The responsible one brings snacks, the impulsive one invites strangers, the uninhibited ones is dancing wildly in the middle of the dance floor, the ambitious dreamer sets up a vision board in the corner, and the version of you who just wants to stay in bed lounges unapologetically on the couch. Each version has a role, and every one of them is an honored guest.
This is what authenticity feels like: giving every part of yourself an invitation and the freedom to just be. Yet so often, we play the role of a strict bouncer, only allowing the “acceptable” versions of ourselves into the spotlight. The rest? We shove them into the backroom, convinced that they’re too much, too lazy, or just not “enough.”
But here’s the truth: when you deny parts of yourself, you deny your wholeness.
Authenticity Doesn’t Demand Perfection
We often confuse authenticity with perfection—as if being “true to yourself” means having it all figured out. But authenticity isn’t about presenting a polished, flawless version of you. It’s about showing up, messy edges and all, and saying, “Here I am, take it or leave it.”
When you embrace all parts of yourself, including the ones you’d rather hide, you step into a version of you that’s real, raw, and relatable. You stop striving to fit into someone else’s mold and start creating your own.
The Guests You Might Not Love
Let’s be honest: not every part of ourselves feels like a VIP. The procrastinator? The over-thinker? The one who ate an entire pizza instead of tackling that to-do list? The one who neglected to RSVP and then showed up late. They might not seem like ideal party guests, but they’re part of the crew.
Why invite them in? Because each one has something to teach you. The procrastinator might be reminding you to slow down, to stop rushing and reevaluate what truly matters. The over-thinker might be pointing out a decision you’re afraid to make. The less considerate one may have revealed some need for courtesy and consideration. Even the part of you curled up in bed all day has value—it’s urging you to rest, to recharge, to recognize that you’re human, not a machine.
When You Embrace the Chaos
Welcoming every part of yourself is messy, no doubt. But that’s where growth lives. Consider this: a perfectly manicured garden might look pretty, but a wild, untamed forest is alive. It’s vibrant, unpredictable, and teeming with life. That’s what you become when you embrace your authenticity—a thriving, evolving force of nature.
Take the artist Vincent van Gogh, for example. His authenticity didn’t come from being “perfect” or fitting into societal norms—it came from embracing his turmoil, his passion, and his unique view of the world. His art wasn’t about precision; it was about truth. Similarly, your authenticity isn’t about getting it “right.” It’s about owning your story, flaws and all.
The Power of Wholeness
When you welcome all your parts to the table, something magical happens: you feel whole. You stop apologizing for being who you are, and you stop seeking external validation. Instead, you become your own source of approval.
This wholeness makes you powerful. It gives you confidence because you’re no longer at war with yourself. It gives you clarity because you’re no longer pretending. And it gives you connection because people are drawn to the real you—not the mask you think they want to see.
How to Start the Party
So, how do you embrace authenticity? Start small:
- Acknowledge the Guests You’ve Ignored: Write down the parts of yourself you’ve tried to hide or suppress. What do they need from you? What might they be trying to teach?
- Speak Kindly to All of You: Replace self-criticism with curiosity. Instead of saying, “I’m so lazy,” try asking, “Why am I feeling unmotivated? What do I need right now?”
- Let Go of Perfection: Remind yourself that no one—not even you—has to have it all together. Your worth isn’t tied to being “ideal”; it’s tied to being real.
- Celebrate the Whole Picture: Remember, a masterpiece isn’t just one color or brushstroke—it’s a combination of light, shadow, and texture. You are that masterpiece.
Conclusion: Thrive by Being You
Authenticity is like a party where all aspects of yourself are not only invited but celebrated. It’s not always neat or easy, but it’s real. And in that reality, you find freedom, growth, and a deep sense of belonging—not to anyone else’s version of success, but to yourself.
So, send out those invitations. Let every version of you join the gathering. Because when you stop denying who you are, you start becoming everything you were meant to be. Besides, it’s fun!
Bob Fagan has just published “The Little Book of Questions That Matter — A Lifetime Companion For Transforming Your Life.” It is available on Amazon.
