(Photo courtesy of Lucas Chizzali – unsplash.com)
Stop Fighting Your Nature: Start Thriving By Embracing Who You Are
You are who you are for a reason. From the moment you were born, you’ve carried unique traits—your instincts, preferences, and personality—that shape the way you navigate the world. Yet so many of us spend our lives trying to fit into molds that don’t align with our nature. It’s like asking a sprinter to run marathons: exhausting, frustrating, and ultimately futile. The good news? What you see as limitations might actually be your greatest strengths.
This isn’t about settling or making excuses; it’s about harnessing what makes you you and using it to your advantage. When you stop fighting your nature and start winning with it, you’ll find more energy, joy, and success in every area of your life.
Your “Flaws” Are Actually Features
Let’s start with a mindset shift: your quirks, tendencies, and preferences aren’t flaws—they’re features. Think about the introvert who thrives in solitary, focused work or the highly emotional person who excels in fields requiring empathy and emotional intelligence. These traits aren’t problems; they’re superpowers waiting to be unleashed.
As Albert Einstein famously said, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” The trick is to stop trying to climb the metaphorical tree and dive into the water where you’re naturally skilled.
Reframe Your “Limitations”
Sometimes it feels like your traits are holding you back. Maybe you’re naturally cautious in a world that rewards boldness. Or you prefer routines while others seem to thrive in chaos. Instead of labeling these tendencies as weaknesses, consider how they might serve you in a different context.
What feels like a headwind in one environment can become a tailwind in another. For instance, a cautious person might not excel in high-stakes entrepreneurship but could thrive in roles requiring meticulous planning, like risk management or data analysis. The highly energetic individual who struggles with focus might flourish in a fast-paced, dynamic environment where multitasking is an asset.
The key is to find or create an environment that aligns with your strengths.
Change Your Environment, Not Your Nature
When you find yourself stuck or frustrated, it’s tempting to believe you need to change who you are. But often, the real solution is to change your environment. As author James Clear says, “You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”
Take stock of the spaces, people, and routines that surround you. Are they bringing out the best in you or forcing you to fight uphill battles? Here are some ways to align your environment with your nature:
- Career Choices: If you’re creative, choose roles that value innovation. If you’re analytical, look for structured, data-driven opportunities.
- Work Environment: Are you more productive in solitude or collaboration? Adjust your workspace or schedule to fit your rhythm.
- Social Circles: Surround yourself with people who appreciate your authentic self instead of pressuring you to conform.
Changing your environment doesn’t mean uprooting your life overnight. Small adjustments, like rearranging your schedule or shifting your mindset, can have a big impact.
Win by Embracing Who You Are
When you embrace your nature instead of fighting it, you’re no longer wasting energy trying to be someone else. Instead, you’re free to channel that energy into what you’re naturally great at. Imagine the sprinter focusing on speed instead of endurance or the introvert mastering deep one-on-one connections instead of struggling at large networking events. By leaning into your strengths, you not only perform better but also feel more aligned with your true self.
As Oprah Winfrey once said, “You don’t become what you want, you become what you believe.” Believe in the value of who you are, and the world will respond in kind.
Your Journey to Self-Acceptance
Here’s the truth: nobody else has your unique combination of traits, and that’s your superpower. Instead of battling against your nature, start asking, “How can I use this to my advantage?” Recognize your strengths, reframe your so-called weaknesses, and adjust your environment to let your true self shine.
It’s not about winning at someone else’s game; it’s about creating a game where you’re destined to succeed.
Bob Fagan has just published “The Little Book of Questions That Matter — A Lifetime Companion For Transforming Your Life.” It is available on Amazon. Through 2025, all proceeds will be donated to charity.
