John Steinbeck spoke to winning and losing.
Life is a series of highs and lows, victories and defeats. But as John Steinbeck so powerfully observed, it’s not the winning or losing that defines us—it’s how we respond to both. Steinbeck’s words remind us that “greatness lives in one who triumphs equally over defeat and victory,” and in this lies the secret to a fulfilled, meaningful life.
In a world obsessed with winning, we often overlook the lessons that come from losing. Defeat can feel crushing, especially when we pour our hearts and souls into something only to fall short. Some allow that defeat to destroy them, to erode their confidence, and to limit their potential. But defeat has the potential to be one of our greatest teachers if we approach it with humility and openness.
It’s in these low moments that we learn resilience, patience, and the importance of perseverance. When we face setbacks, we are forced to look deeper within ourselves, to ask hard questions, and to reassess our approach. Defeat gives us the opportunity to realign our goals, reevaluate our strengths, and sometimes even change our paths altogether. Those who can rise from defeat, not diminished but strengthened, are the ones who grow into their true greatness.
However, the danger doesn’t only lie in defeat. Victory, as Steinbeck notes, can also be a trap. Some become “small and mean” by their triumphs, letting success inflate their egos and narrow their perspectives. Victory can blind us to the needs of others, making us complacent or arrogant. When we become overly attached to winning, we risk losing sight of the things that truly matter: integrity, kindness, and the pursuit of continual growth.
True greatness lies in maintaining humility and grace in both victory and defeat. Those who embody this kind of greatness understand that neither success nor failure is permanent. They refuse to be defined by the outcome of a single event or challenge. They don’t allow victory to inflate their ego, nor do they let defeat break their spirit.
The real triumph is in maintaining balance. It’s about accepting life’s ups and downs with the same steady heart. Those who achieve this balance are the ones who inspire others—not just because of what they’ve achieved, but because of who they’ve become in the process. Their resilience in defeat and humility in success make them not only great achievers but also great human beings.
So, how can we cultivate this greatness within ourselves?
Start by recognizing that every victory and every defeat is temporary. Learn to value the lessons each brings. Approach both success and failure with curiosity rather than judgment. Ask yourself: “What can I learn from this?” and “How can this experience help me grow?” When we view every outcome as an opportunity for growth, we free ourselves from the destructive patterns of pride and despair.
Ultimately, greatness doesn’t come from always winning, nor does it come from never failing. It comes from how we respond to both. By embracing Steinbeck’s wisdom, we can cultivate the kind of character that triumphs equally over life’s victories and defeats, becoming people of true strength and enduring grace.
Bob Fagan has just published “The Little Book of Questions That Matter — A Lifetime Companion For Transforming Your Life.” It is available on Amazon.
