Are you frustrated by love, how to get it and what to do with it when you do? Or maybe you had it and lost it? Join the crowd.
As a divorced gent of several years, I’ve had my share of falling in and out of love and been the recipient of such. Moreover, I’ve counseled dozen of others who have experienced the same. It’s maybe the most written about topic on the planet so why shouldn’t I join the fray?
Do you choose love or does love choose you? I tend to believe the latter. All you can do is to accept it when it knocks and cherish it for one of life’s delicious moments. We never really own anything and that includes love. The more we try to control, manage, seek and manipulate it, the more it slips through our grasp.
I’m learning to accept and enjoy it, but to then give it away – to anyone and everyone, and especially those poor in spirit.
Love has its own time, its own season, and who are we to know its comings or goings. Sometimes death robs us of love and at other times its no more than a shift of energy. Our ego always wants to know why. We want answers when there are none. Perhaps it is to assign blame, to create a story, or to simply try to circumvent the pain of loss. Was something wrong with me or was it my partner? Was it circumstantial? Getting lost in those kind of details is like swimming in a sea of misery; sooner or later you will give up and drown in unhappiness and despair.
We hope and pray that when love comes to find a place in our heart that it also rests in our beloved’s heart as well. Often it does not. Love cannot be forced or recovered under pressure.
How we treat ourselves inevitably surfaces in sending the identical vibrations out into the world. Being loving, gentle, and forgiving with ourselves starts as a good basis for attracting the same in others. Just the other day, a woman shared with me that in order for her to find someone to love and take care of her (her goal), she first had to do that for her man. How wise. Just like to make a friend, first we must be a friend.
Love is more than common interests, values, and attractions. Like life, it ebbs and flows on its own schedule. It elates and disappoints, but it is always a gift and it is beyond questioning.
Perhaps the best way to treat love is with kindness and integrity, and an open palm. If it leaves, rejoice for what it has brought you and if it stays, don’t take it for granted, but always share it with the rest of the world in any way you can. By all means, be grateful that it came to rest with you if for only for a moment. And if your heart remains open, it will certainly circle back to you on its own time.