(Photo Courtesy of Priscilla du Preez)
When meeting someone new, how often can you ask “How are you? Where are you from? or What do you do?” Doesn’t asking and receiving these types of questions get a bit tedious? Realizing that the most interesting people I’ve met also have asked the most interesting questions, I got to thinking how could I improve mine?
Crafting an interesting ice-breaker question requires going beyond just breaking the silence. It should spark genuine conversation, reveal something unique about people, and set the stage for a positive interaction. Resist the urge to convey an information dump about you for the other person is probably eager to be heard. Most of all, be a sincere and curious listener. Here are some tips and ideas to help you formulate captivating ice-breakers:
Understanding Your Audience:
- Gauge the formality. Choose a question that matches the level of formality appropriate for the situation. You wouldn’t craft a deeply personal transformative question after just meeting someone.
- Consider the context. Are you at a networking event, a social gathering, or a team meeting? Are you at play or a casual setting? Tailor your question to the setting and the group’s interests.
- Know your audience. If possible, learn some basic information about the people you’ll be interacting with. This allows you to craft questions relevant to their experiences or backgrounds. On a more personal basis where you don’t know the person, it’s okay to start with the old standards, but don’t stay there. Listen and inquire further.
Crafting the Question:
- Avoid yes/no questions. Opt for open-ended questions that encourage elaboration and discussion. If you do ask a closed end yes/no question, you can follow it up with “Tell me more,” or another question.
- Go beyond the obvious. Skip questions like “What do you do?” or “What’s your favorite movie?” Aim for something more revealing and thought-provoking.
- Spark curiosity. Choose questions that pique people’s interest and make them want to share their answers.
- Inject humor (carefully). Read your audience. A lighthearted question can ease tension and create a more relaxed atmosphere. However, avoid humor that could be offensive or culturally insensitive.
- Personalize it (when appropriate). If you have some background information, personalize the question to show genuine interest in individuals.
- Make sure that the setting and context are appropriate for the question you ask. Many questions may not be the first thing you say to someone, but you might interject something like, “I’ve always been interested to learn…”
- Since you want to be interested in what the other person has to say, what would you be interested in learning about them?
Examples of Interesting Ice-Breaker Questions:
General:
- If you could have any superpower for 24 hours, what would it be and why?
- What’s the most unexpected thing you’ve learned recently?
- What would I find most surprising to learn about you?
- What makes your heart sing?
- What’s the most adventurous thing you’ve ever done?
- What fictional character do you most identify with and why?
- If you had a million dollars to spend in one day, how would you use it?
- What’s the one thing you’d love to learn but haven’t had the chance to yet?
- What’s your go-to karaoke song (or the song you’d secretly love to sing but wouldn’t admit in public)?
Professionally Oriented:
- What’s one thing you’re passionate about outside of work that you wish you could incorporate more into your job?
- What is the best question that’s often used in your line of work?
- What’s the best piece of career advice you’ve ever received?
- If you could solve one major problem in your industry, what would it be and how would you tackle it?
- What’s your spirit animal in the workplace and why?
- What’s the most interesting project you’ve worked on in your career?
This entire discussion is predicated that you are interested in your audience and a dedicated listener. Your level of sincerity will always determine how the conversation is received. Can you appreciate the opportunity for you to learn and set yourself apart from the rest?
P.S. I have written a book all about Questions entitled, “The Little Book of Questions That Matter – A Lifetime Companion For Transforming Your Life.” It’s been called a Ph.D. course in self-development and can find it on Amazon.com.
