(Photo courtesy of Robert S. Fagan )
We all know that feeling when anger rises, simmering like an oven turned up too high. It’s heat without light, a rush of frustration and indignation that builds up inside. In the moment, anger can feel like fuel, driving us forward – but it’s blinding too. When anger takes the wheel, it often leads to regret, unkind words, and burned bridges. In contrast, forgiveness is like the moon: soft, steady, light without heat. Forgiveness doesn’t scorch or destroy; it illuminates, cool and clear, helping us see the way forward with calm and grace.
Anger, like an oven, can be useful in certain situations. Sometimes it can help us recognize when boundaries have been crossed or when we need to take a stand. But staying angry is like letting the oven run without baking anything. The heat builds, but there’s no outcome, no clarity, no direction. The longer we stay angry, the more it consumes us from the inside. Have you ever noticed that holding onto anger feels heavy and exhausting? It’s like carrying around a hot coal, hoping to throw it at someone, while it only burns us.
Think of the last time you were angry with someone. Maybe they said something thoughtless, or they overlooked something important to you. At first, anger seems justified, like a burst of flames that demands attention. But after the heat dies down, what’s left? Often, nothing but ashes and a lingering sense of dissatisfaction. Anger can lead us to act without thinking, leaving us to clean up a mess we didn’t really mean to create. Anger might make us feel powerful in the moment, but it rarely leaves us with anything we truly want.
Forgiveness, however, has an entirely different effect. Forgiveness is like moonlight – gentle, calming, and illuminating. It doesn’t burn; it soothes. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing harmful behavior. Instead, it’s a choice to release the burden of resentment. Forgiveness clears the mind, much like a cool, moonlit night after a scorching day, bringing peace where there was turmoil. The beauty of forgiveness is that it allows us to let go without losing our inner light. When we forgive, we create space in our hearts for compassion, understanding, and peace. It’s a gift we give to ourselves as much as to others.
Take the example of Nelson Mandela, who spent 27 years in prison for his fight against apartheid. He had every reason to be angry, yet he chose forgiveness over revenge. Mandela understood that staying angry would only keep him shackled in bitterness. By choosing forgiveness, he not only freed himself but also paved the way for healing an entire nation. His forgiveness didn’t mean he forgot the injustice; it meant he chose a brighter path forward, a path illuminated by understanding rather than rage.
In our own lives, we can all practice the art of forgiveness. Next time anger starts to simmer, try taking a step back. Imagine the cool, gentle light of the moon, casting away the shadows of resentment. Instead of letting anger burn unchecked, we can let forgiveness light the way, making room for kindness, patience, and understanding. The shift doesn’t happen overnight, and it’s not always easy. But every time we choose forgiveness, we’re choosing peace over pain, light overheat.
Ultimately, both anger and forgiveness are powerful, but they offer us very different outcomes. Anger can consume, like an oven with its fire, while forgiveness illuminates, like the soft light of the moon. When we choose forgiveness, we’re embracing a light that can guide us, one that keeps us cool, calm, and focused on what truly matters. So the next time life tests your patience, remember this: let forgiveness be your guiding light, and watch how it brightens your path forward.
Bob Fagan has just published “The Little Book of Questions That Matter — A Lifetime Companion For Transforming Your Life.” It is available on Amazon.Through 2025, all proceeds will be donated to charity.
