Ernest Hemingway
I have been closely watching and marveling at Stephen Curry play basketball for the Golden State Warrior now for more than 14 years. He is a bonafide superstar, a a supremely confident, if not cocky showman, and yet a humble teammate that others players relish playing with and the community it drawn to. How does he do it? Confidence and humility often feel like opposites.
I am drawn to the wisdom of Ernest Hemingway. He had a way of distilling complex truths into simple, unforgettable phrases. His advice, “Be humble after but not during the action,” offers a masterclass in how to navigate life’s challenges with strength and grace. It’s a reminder that confidence is essential when you’re in the thick of pursuing your goals, but humility is what keeps you grounded once the dust has settled. Together, they create a balance that allows you to act boldly while staying true to yourself.
Acting with confidence is about stepping into the moment with conviction. Curry, and others like Jack Nicklaus, for example, have trained long and hard forsaking no fundamentals. They feel entitled to their confidence and winning with “feel” being the operative word. Whether you’re making a tough decision, presenting an idea, or chasing a dream, hesitation is often your biggest enemy. Hemingway understood that action requires belief—not in guaranteed success, but in your ability to give it your best shot. When you second-guess yourself mid-action, you risk faltering, missing opportunities, or worse, undermining your own potential. Confidence during the action isn’t arrogance; it’s the clarity to trust yourself when it matters most. Having had some experience with Nicklaus, his clarity of confidence was beyond dispute. Curry’s is probably as well.
Humility, on the other hand, is the reflection that comes afterward. It’s the willingness to assess what went well, what didn’t, and where you can grow. It’s recognizing that no matter how skilled or prepared you are, success is rarely achieved alone. Humility is what allows you to share credit, acknowledge help, and stay open to feedback. Hemingway’s advice is not about separating these qualities but about knowing when to embody each.
In practice, this duality is invaluable. Think of Curry or Nicklaus preparing for a championship. During the contest, they need confidence—unwavering belief in their training, their instincts, and their ability to perform. But after the final whistle, whether they win or lose, humility must take over. This is the moment to appreciate the support of coaches, teammates, conditions, and even opponents, and to reflect on how to improve for the next challenge.
This mindset also applies in leadership. A confident leader inspires their team, makes tough calls, and acts decisively. But after the decision is made, humility ensures they remain approachable, acknowledge contributions, and learn from outcomes. Hemingway’s advice reminds leaders to balance these qualities, avoiding both the pitfalls of arrogance and the paralysis of self-doubt.
On an individual level, the principle can transform how we approach personal growth. Confidence allows you to take risks—asking for a promotion, pursuing a creative project, or starting a new chapter in life. Without it, fear often keeps you stuck. Humility, however, ensures you remain grounded, using failures as stepping stones and staying open to learning. The synergy of these traits creates resilience, adaptability, and lasting success.
Hemingway’s words are also a caution against getting stuck in either extreme. Overconfidence can blind you to your flaws or alienate those around you. Excessive humility, on the other hand, can lead to hesitation or self-doubt that keeps you from taking action. The magic lies in the interplay between the two—confidence to act and humility to reflect.
As you navigate your own path, ask yourself: Am I bringing the right energy to this moment? Do I need to lean into confidence to take action, or do I need to embrace humility to grow? Hemingway’s wisdom is a reminder that life is a dance between these two forces. Confidence is what propels you forward; humility is what keeps you grounded. Together, they help you move through life with strength, grace, and a deep respect for the process.
Bob Fagan has just published “The Little Book of Questions That Matter — A Lifetime Companion For Transforming Your Life.” It is available on Amazon. All proceeds through 2025 will be donated to charity.
