There is nothing so rich as a long-term, deep friendship.
(Photo by Robert S. Fagan)
How Do You Invest in Friendship as a Practice?
I was listening to a podcast sponsored by the Modern Elder Academy. They raised that very question, but went on to other topics. I thought it to be interesting as the quality of our lives are influenced by our friend relationships as much as anything Sustained success here is one of the leading factors in promoting happiness and healthy longevity.
Friendship, like any worthwhile endeavor, thrives on effort, intention, and care. Yet, in the whirlwind of modern life, it’s easy to treat friendships as incidental rather than intentional. We assume they’ll sustain themselves, growing naturally without much tending. But here’s a thought to consider: What if you treated friendship as an investment? Not in a transactional sense, but as a practice—something you actively nurture, prioritize, and grow. How different would your connections feel if you invested in them with the same energy you give to other meaningful pursuits in your life?
Investing in friendship begins with time. Time, after all, is our most valuable resource. Ask yourself: How often do I genuinely make space for my friends? And not just in passing moments or digital interactions, but in the kind of presence that says, You matter to me. Relationships aren’t built in the scroll of a newsfeed or a quick text. They’re built in shared meals, deep conversations, and showing up when it counts. As Aristotle once said, “What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.” Achieving that kind of bond requires showing up—consistently and wholeheartedly.
Another form of investment is attentiveness. In a world where multitasking is glorified, giving someone your undivided attention feels like a rare gift. When was the last time you listened to a friend—not waiting for your turn to talk, but truly hearing them? Active listening is a profound way to honor someone’s thoughts and feelings. It shows you’re present and that their words matter. Think of it as putting emotional currency into the relationship, a deposit of care and understanding that strengthens your bond.
Friendship also thrives on vulnerability. Investing in your friendships means daring to be open, even when it’s uncomfortable. It’s about sharing your joys, fears, and dreams, and inviting others to do the same. Brené Brown reminds us, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity.” By letting your guard down, you create a safe space where authentic connections can flourish.
Consider, too, the importance of small gestures. Sometimes, it’s the little things that mean the most. Sending a thoughtful note, remembering a special date, or simply checking in to say, “I’m thinking of you” can make a world of difference. These acts of kindness are the dividends of your friendship investment, paying off in warmth, trust, and reciprocity.
However, investing in friendship also means being willing to navigate the difficult moments. No relationship is without its challenges, and true friends are those who lean in rather than back away when things get tough. Whether it’s addressing a conflict, supporting a friend through hardship, or simply staying patient during a rough patch, these moments of perseverance often deepen the connection.
Ask yourself: Am I making friendship a practice? Am I planting seeds today that will grow into something beautiful tomorrow? Friendships don’t require perfection, but they do demand consistency and care. Like any investment, the returns are proportional to the effort you put in. The more you nurture your friendships, the richer and more fulfilling they become.
Ultimately, investing in friendship isn’t about grand gestures or flawless execution. It’s about intention. It’s about deciding that the people in your life deserve your time, your energy, and your heart. When you make friendship a practice, you’re not just building relationships—you’re enriching your life in ways that no material possession or fleeting achievement could ever match.
So, how do you invest in friendship? Are you giving it the time, attention, and vulnerability it deserves? If not, today is a great day to start. Because the truth is, the strongest friendships are built not on convenience, but on commitment.
Bob Fagan has just published “The Little Book of Questions That Matter — A Lifetime Companion For Transforming Your Life.” It is available on Amazon. Through 2025, all proceeds will be donated to charity.
