(Photo courtesy of Charles Etoroma)
We all have had limiting beliefs at one time or another. Most still have them occupying substantial space in their lives. In my coaching, limiting beliefs are one of the first tasks we explore. Here are ten of the most common ones in no particular order..
Self-limiting beliefs can act like invisible chains holding us back from our true potential. These mental barriers stop us from taking steps toward our dreams and goals, making us feel like success is out of reach. However, countless individuals have overcome these obstacles, proving that self-limiting beliefs are just illusions, not reality. Let’s explore how you can shift your mindset and break through these 10 self-limiting beliefs using real-life examples.
1. I’m Too Old
A common belief is that age is a barrier to success. This is one of the most limiting thoughts, as age is often seen as an obstacle to learning, starting something new, or achieving big dreams. As human longevity and vitality continue to advance, exciting new options will present themselves to those formerly thought of as old.
Real-Life Example:
Colonel Harland Sanders, the founder of KFC, is a perfect example of overcoming this belief. At 65 years old, after failing multiple business ventures, Sanders started his famous fried chicken empire. He didn’t see age as a disadvantage but as an opportunity to use his experience to launch a new chapter in life.
Takeaway:
You are never too old to follow your passion. Each phase of life brings new wisdom, skills, and opportunities. Instead of focusing on what you think time has taken away, focus on what you’ve gained and how you can apply that to your next venture.
2. I’m Not Smart Enough
Many people believe intelligence is fixed, but modern research into neuroplasticity shows that the brain is capable of growing and adapting throughout life. You can always become more knowledgeable and skillful through effort and practice. Be open to new experiences and how you can learn from them.
Real-Life Example:
Albert Einstein didn’t speak until he was four and struggled in school. His teachers thought he wasn’t very smart, but his eventual contributions to science changed the course of history. Einstein didn’t let his slow start define him; he persevered and followed his curiosity, which led him to develop the theory of relativity.
Takeaway:
Intelligence isn’t a fixed trait. Curiosity, persistence, and learning from experience are more important than being “smart” in the traditional sense. Start small, keep learning, and let your passion fuel your growth.
3. I’m Not Educated Enough
Some of the world’s most successful individuals never completed formal education. In today’s world, self-education, experience, and resilience often matter more than formal degrees. Action means more than a formal education. So does common sense and persistence.
Real-Life Example:
Richard Branson, founder of the Virgin Group, dropped out of high school at 16 but went on to build a multi-billion-dollar business empire. His lack of formal education didn’t stop him; he learned through hands-on experience and following his entrepreneurial spirit.
Takeaway:
Formal education is not the only path to success. Many resources, such as online courses, mentorships, and life experience, can fill the gap. Your drive and willingness to learn are far more valuable than any degree.
4. I’m Afraid of Trying and Failing
Fear of failure paralyzes many from taking action. However, failure is often the stepping stone to success, as it provides valuable lessons that help refine your approach. I say, “Fail and fail often, but don’t repeat the same mistakes. With every experience, you become richer at life.”
Real-Life Example:
Thomas Edison, the inventor of the lightbulb, famously said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” His resilience led to one of the greatest inventions in history. Every failure brought him one step closer to success.
Takeaway:
Failure is not the opposite of success; it’s part of the journey. Learn to embrace failure as an opportunity for growth. Each setback provides lessons that bring you closer to your goal.
5. You Have to Have Money to Make Money
This belief holds many people back from starting a business or pursuing their dreams. While having resources can help, many successful entrepreneurs started with nothing. The world is filled with the wealthy who didn’t begin with a headstart. Besides, the accomplishment of achievement make attaining money sweeter.
Real-Life Example:
Oprah Winfrey grew up in poverty, facing numerous obstacles, yet became one of the wealthiest and most influential women in the world. Her resilience, hard work, and vision allowed her to overcome her financial limitations.
Takeaway:
You don’t need to start with wealth to achieve success. Creativity, persistence, and networking can open doors that money alone cannot. Seek out opportunities, partnerships, and small ways to begin that can grow over time.
6. I’ve Already Tried Everything
This belief implies that there’s no more hope because all options have been exhausted. However, persistence and a willingness to try new approaches can unlock doors you didn’t know existed. An active imagination fueled with curiosity and will always will create more options.
Real-Life Example:
J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series, faced 12 rejections from publishers before finally being accepted. Today, her books have sold over 500 million copies worldwide. She didn’t give up even when it seemed all avenues had been explored.
Takeaway:
There are always more options. Sometimes, it’s not about finding a new approach but sticking with your goal long enough to see the results. Keep going and be willing to pivot or try something slightly different.
7. It’s Selfish of Me to Want More
Many people, especially those who value humility and generosity, feel guilty about wanting success, money, or recognition. However, achieving personal success allows you to give back more. While it is true that longing for fame and fortune does not equate to happiness, they do creates opportunities.
Real-Life Example:
Warren Buffett, one of the wealthiest people in the world, has committed to giving 99% of his wealth to charity. His financial success allows him to make a massive impact on the world through his philanthropy.
Takeaway:
It’s not selfish to pursue success. In fact, personal growth and achievement can empower you to help others more effectively. When you take care of yourself and achieve your goals, you have more to offer those around you.
8. I Don’t Feel That I Really Deserve It
Feeling unworthy of success can be rooted in past experiences, low self-esteem, or internalized negative beliefs. However, everyone is deserving of happiness, fulfillment, and success. You are!
Real-Life Example:
Lady Gaga has spoken openly about her struggles with self-worth and depression despite her global fame. She has since used her platform to inspire others to believe in themselves and practice self-love, showing that you can overcome feelings of unworthiness.
Takeaway:
You are worthy of success, love, and happiness simply because you exist. Recognize your inherent value and remind yourself that everyone has doubts—but they don’t have to define your path.
9. I Don’t Have the Willpower
The belief that willpower is something you either have or don’t is a misconception. Willpower is like a muscle that gets stronger with use. Developing discipline and self-control is possible for anyone. Make that everyone.
Real-Life Example:
David Goggins, a former Navy SEAL, ultramarathon runner, and motivational speaker, has overcome incredible odds by training his mind. He wasn’t born with unshakable willpower, but he developed it through pushing his limits repeatedly.
Takeaway:
Willpower is built through practice, not something you’re born with. Start small by setting manageable goals and building consistency over time. As you prove to yourself that you can succeed, your willpower will grow.
10. All the Good Ones Are Taken
In relationships, people often feel that they’ve missed their chance for love or that all the “good” partners are already taken. This belief can lead to settling or giving up on finding true happiness. Don’t permit this belief the time of day.
Real-Life Example:
Julia Child, the renowned chef, didn’t meet her husband, Paul Child, until she was 34 years old, which was considered late in the 1940s. Their deep connection and partnership were proof that love can happen at any stage of life.
Takeaway:
There’s no expiration date on love. Be open to new connections, continue growing yourself, and trust that the right people will come into your life when the time is right. Focus on being the best version of yourself rather than worrying about what’s unavailable.
Conclusion: Transforming Limiting Beliefs into Empowering Actions
Self-limiting beliefs are mental barriers that can stop us from reaching our true potential. They are illusions. By looking at real-life examples of people who have overcome these beliefs, we can see that they are not based in truth but in fear and doubt. Success, fulfillment, and happiness are available to anyone who is willing to push through these barriers and take action toward their goals.
Remember, you are never too old, too inexperienced, or too far behind to start building the life you desire. Each small step forward is progress, and by challenging your limiting beliefs, you open yourself up to new possibilities. Like Colonel Sanders, Oprah, or Lady Gaga, you can break free from the chains of doubt and rewrite your story, one belief at a time. And as I always close, “It’s never too late to finish strong!”
Sources:
- Jung, C.G. The Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious. Princeton University Press, 1959.
- Goyal, M., et al. “Meditation programs for psychological stress and well-being: A systematic review and meta-analysis.” JAMA Internal Medicine, 2014.
- Michalsen, A., et al. “Psychological and neuroendocrine effects of yoga practice: A randomized controlled trial.” The Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine, 2012.
Bob Fagan has just published “The Little Book of Questions That Matter — A Lifetime Companion For Transforming Your Life.” It is available on Amazon.
