Would you consider being more accepting of others, to let go? How about becoming more accepting of you? The quality of your life depends on it. It’s really not all that complicated or difficult, though we may constantly tell ourselves otherwise. I continue to run into so many people who refuse to embrace forgiveness and acceptance whether in their personal or professional lives, or even their general outlook on the world and life. When you come right down to it, acceptance is really a gift to yourself.
It seems that many folks would rather wallow in the stress, disease, and pain that judgment causes, and then complain about it. They seem more comfortable with the pain of being addicted to their truth than of considering acceptance, of being right rather than being loving. They embrace anger, righteousness, and judgment, all first cousins of fear. Could that be you? I know it has been me from time to time.
We have invested many years in our different judgments and have the power of many institutions, parents, and others to support us so that our judgments have become our core beliefs. However, when we realize that these judgments are our self-limiting beliefs based in fear, we open ourselves up to the possibility of a liberating awakening.
Do some people really irritate you or press your buttons in a very harmful, hurtful way? Most of us have those people in our lives. A refreshingly new tactic would be to simply accept them. Find the element that is making you crazy and see if you don’t already exhibit those traits yourself. You might have to dig deep to uncover them. Maybe they don’t manifest itself in the same way, but they are probably there. When you become truly aware and realize that we are all more alike than we really imagine, we can more easily accept others.
When you judge others, you take yourself away from your best self and that causes pain. Embracing fear as opposed to love, you are out of alignment. Any focus on that will create more unpleasant, unintended results. Judgment and fear become a vicious cycle and we dig ourselves deeper into a hole of pain. The good news is there is a solution and it can be a quick fix at that.
Make a new decision and a new choice as opposed to the old reflex action of becoming angry, hurt, and vengeful. You can and should still have a voice and your own boundaries of acceptability, but your new response will be acceptance for what is. Other’s hurtful actions don’t need to have an accompanying judgment, which follows with anger, madness, and frustration. Why not just accept them? That doesn’t mean that you approve them.
We all have our little pockets of judgment; I know I do, but when I can identify them and shine the light of acceptance upon them, they instantly vanish. It’s very liberating and the more we practice acceptance, the easier it becomes.
Now stop for a moment. Imagine the gift of example you will bequeath your family and friends as they see you quickly, yes quickly transform from your former self into this new loving person. You are meant to shine your light while you are here, not to enforce judgments or hold onto old fears. Must you continue to be that old leaded lightshade that restricts all light and happiness, and prohibits all growth? Your growth can and will be an inspiration to others, and you have no idea how far it might spread – generations perhaps.
When we can grow into a state of awareness of everything and everyone for whom they are, we begin to breathe a sweeter, purer air and to freely enjoy life – becoming more in alignment with our best and highest self. Realize that everyone is simply pursuing part of their perfect path through life, they are moving through life with the best awareness that they have at the time. And accept your anger if they have hurt or interfered with your path, but release the need to be hurt or to be right.
When the pain becomes great enough, some of us will decide to gift ourselves forgiveness, as all forgiveness is essentially self-forgiveness. Poof, the pain and hurt will vanish instantly. Then add to that, the gift of acceptance. It’s your decision and it always has been. You create the world you live in. And the beautiful thing is that it is never too late to change, to finish strong. It’s exciting to reinvent yourself and take in the gift of acceptance!
So what or whom might you be willing to accept right this moment?
“Helping You Become Your Own Best Coach”
Bob Fagan coaches leaders, athletes, and general folks to higher levels of performance and fulfillment. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.