Most of those I coach have been living a hoax that I will call the “Happiness Hoax.” Here’s why…
(Caution: This fix may impair your unhappiness. If you are so attuned and content with your unhappy “story,” do not read further.)
Do you really own your happiness or is it dependent upon a host of external factors?
Is your happiness dependent upon your relationships? Does what’s happening or has happened between you and your spouse or partner, your parents, children, siblings, friends, neighbors, pets, co-workers, clients, suppliers, etc. determine whether or not you are a happy person? Does their approval, disapproval, interest or disinterest determine your happiness? What about your accomplishments or perceived lack of them, your finances, career, notoriety, love life, health, free time, or freedom? Does your assessment of those areas make you happy or not? How about your car, hobbies, collections, home, clothes, furnishings, or accomplishments? Do any of these things determine your happiness. If so, you really aren’t taking accountability for your happiness, but have given up control of it and life will blow you around like a ping pong ball. You will unduly concern yourself with the fear of loss of what’s working, what you believe you’ve acquired, and death, separation, scarcity, and the like will haunt you – not a fun picture.
There is no argument that your perceived success in any of the above areas can legitimately be sources of joy, but they need not be determinants to happiness. Happiness is not about getting, attaining or even retaining, but rather a state of being. It’s a state of love that is our true nature. It’s something you can freely give away without losing it and it costs nothing and is as quick as a change of belief. When you realize that happiness is a decision – yours, you remove yourself from the opposite of love – fear. A byproduct will be that you begin to savor the present moment and release any worries or future fears because you don’t have to concern yourself with these old non-working external factors.
Determine to be happy now NO MATTER WHAT and you will be. The altered “frequency” that you emit will sooner or later bring into synch those previously mentioned external factors that bring you joy. Call it an awakening of the heart and a refusal to allow our circumstances to define our happiness. In doing so, you, me, and one person at a time, we will create a “New Order” of greater love, peace, and understanding that makes it easier to exercise love and forgiveness, and realize life’s joys and abundance.
The happiness hoax is shattered!