There are some emotions and beliefs that we hang onto that we are better off releasing.
Hate, anger, and retribution along with their cousins of judgment and fear make the top of my list. Grasping them is like consuming poison and expecting someone else to die or suffer. Instead, we destroy our relationships and the quality of our lives should we hold onto them. At some stage, forgiveness is always critical to healing.
When you fail to forgive you harbor a poison, a fear-based burden that will continue to weigh you down or render you an unpleasant death of sorts until you do release it. The choice is yours. Forgiveness of one’s self is just as important as forgiving another.
The gift of forgiveness is really bestowed on the forgiver, not the forgiven. One can forgive another without the other person even knowing about that act. Forgiveness is not about excusing, condoning, or approving another’s actions for to do that you take away their responsibility to learn from their choices. It is, however, about acknowledging that person as a human being who, through whatever issues and pain they live with, chose to harm you or another. It also about resolving that whatever happened will no longer affect you.
Will you choose to continue holding the other with anger and pain? If so, you carry that other person as your burden. You can lift your burdens and expedite the healing process through forgiveness and by doing so enable yourself to move on to living a more joyful life. It follows that you grasp that unless you forgive yourself first, forgiving another often will not work.
So will you decide to stay with your righteous judgments of right and wrong and guard your stories or will you move over to the unconditional forgiveness side? At a very real level you have always known the consequences of this decision. The fact remains that the choice is yours and always has been. Isn’t this very moment the right time to accept the healing gift of forgiveness?