Golf’s Three Dirtiest Words

“You’re still away” is not the only bad three-word phrase in golf.  There are plenty more.  Read ‘em and weep!


1.  Pick it up!


2.  Where’s my wedge?  (Headcover, cell phone, camera, wallet, etc.)


3.   It’s behind you!


4.   You’re still away.


5.   How much longer?


6.  Not this again!


7.  See the ripples?  (See that splash?)


8.  Hit a house.


9.  I hurt myself.  (Are you hurt?)


10. It’s in deeper!


11. Still your turn.


12. Is that lightning?


13. Where’d that go?


14. Forgot my putter!


Remember him?

15. Course Closed Today.  (Sorry Course Closed)


16. Not enough club.  (Too much club.)


17. Have another ball?


18. Is that good?


19. That is unplayable.  (lost, gone, goodbye, etc.)


20. Play a provisional.


21. Tournament is cancelled.


22. Greens just aerified.


23. My shaft’s broken.


24. Don’t go left!  (right, long, short, O.B., etc.)


25. You looked up!


26. Your husband play?  (to a man)


27. Toss me another.


28. Where’s the bathroom?


29. Anyone see that?


30. You play before?


31. I’ve seen worse.  (Better than most.)


32. This game sucks!


33. Another one lost!


34. Out of bounds.


35. Wanna trade partners?


36. Pick it up.


37. Who built this?


38. Cart Paths Only.


39. The decision stands.


40. One Mulligan Please.


41. Had another three-putt.


42. Is that OB?


43. Better play out!


44. Out of beer!


45. Is anyone hurt?


46. Need extra balls?


47. In the drink.


48. You made seven.


49. What was that!


50. Wife on phone.  (Boss)


51. You’d better re-tee.


52. That’s two strokes.


53. I got stung.  (bit, caught, hurt, etc.)


54. Left it short.


55. Get a medic!


56. Take a mulligan.


57. Had a snowman.


58. Run it out!


59. No shorts allowed.


60. I lost count.


61. There’s always tomorrow.


62. Where’s your lipstick?  (to a man)


63. Give you strokes?


64. Speed it up!


65. Still your turn.


66. Take a drop.


67. Broke my club.


68. Can’t get there.


69. That’s a penalty.


70. You are disqualified.


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