In my coaching the subject of sex or the quality or lack of it will often come up. Let’s face it, it’s an important component of relationships. There are some health and life-style choices or perhaps I should say “changes” that you might consider to spice up your sex life. Here’s a list of nine that pretty much apply equally to both men and women.
1. Exercise – Whether for stamina and flexibility or self-confidence and firming up/sliming down, exercise can accomplish everything from better blood flow to a healthier, happier glow. Greater blood flow to the genitals makes them respond better for sexual activities. Additionally, exercising raises testosterone, which kickstarts your libido, and dopamine, which lifts your mood and increases your energy.
2. Turn off the television. It matters little what you’re watching, from news or faked reality to a marathon of your favorite movies or shows, they detract from quality time you might otherwise be using to get to spend or play with your partner.
3. Address your self-care. How can you expect your partner to take care of you if you don’t take care of yourself? This can apply to everything from hygiene, skin and dental care to sleep. Feeling well-rested and attractive sets you in a much better mode to be both attractive and loving.
4. Do talk about sex. Communicate your needs, preferences, concerns, and even your fantasies. Don’t keep each other in the dark about what you need, what you want, and when. This is nothing to be embarrassed about. Open communications pave the way for better understanding while the lack encourages misunderstanding and disappointment, hardly the prescription for satisfying sex.
5. Vary your sex schedule. Introduce a little spice or change from your usual time. If it’s the last thing in the evening, try the morning or afternoon. Maybe a “quickie” will suffice. Different circumstances, lighting, clothing, music, positions, roles, and energie, etc.s can all reignite your passion.
6. Be considerate of how you dress and your appearance. Frumpy, sloppy, or slovenly hardly exude sex appeal. Add to that a lack of fresh breath and shaving. They’re big turnoffs. Enough said, show your partner a little respect consideration, and make a some effort to present yourself in an attractive way whenever possible.
7. If you smoke, stop! Foul breath, shortness of breath, gum disease, tooth decay, premature aging and wrinkles, a hacking cough, and finger stains hardly spell sexy, do they? Besides, smoking has also been specifically linked to lowered sexual desire and performance, likely because it constricts the blood vessels and restricts oxygen-rich blood flow to your erogenous zones.
8. Chill out. We all get stressed out from time to time, but exercise, meditate, turn off the electronics, or put aside the to-do list to lower your stress. Never ending stress will totally wipe out your energy and can also trigger a host of hormonal changes that mess with your body’s ability to become aroused. Cortisol, the stress hormone, suppresses the production of testosterone—which women need to feel revved up for sex. Set boundaries, turn off that technology, and place a priority on your intimacy. Scheduling a date night can be a good idea, demonstrating to each other that you’re both committed to making sex a priority.
9. Watch what you eat. From sugary foods to healthy vegetables like cabbage, broccoli, and cauliflower that can make you feel bloated and gassy, watch what, when, and how much you eat before sex. High sodium and friend foods can also have a bloating effect. Heavier lunches and lighter dinners make sense for not only your health, but your sex life, and heavy doses of sugar actually reduce your testosterone.
10. If you have a partner, communicate your needs and expectations with them. Then ask them about theirs. For some couples, a little bit of sex goes a long way and expectations are relaxed. For others, it’s may be as much about changing and giving, but considerate, honest communications trumps guessing every time.
Not only for sex, but for relationships as a whole, when you focus on giving more than getting, you may find you enjoy things more!