As the Tiagra Woods scandal continues to unfold, what were the odds that Valentine’s Day and the beginning of the Chinese New Year would coincide this year, unleashing the Chinese Year of the Tiger?
Well, they weren’t that good. This is only the fourth time the two annual events have matched up on the calendar since 1900, and it’s not going to happen again for 38 years. There are 12 creatures in the Chinese New Year rota: February 14, 1915 began the Year of the Rabbit; February 14, 1934 the Year of the Dog, and February 14, 1953 the Year of the Snake. The Year of the Dragon begins February 14, 2048, or the Chinese year 4747.
There’s surely a way to calculate when the Year of the Tiger will again commence on February 14, but we’ll all be sleeping with kings and counselors by then, so I’m not going to try. And I’m not going to try to make a further joke out of the situation, either, since the Tiger sex saga is already wearying.
Personally, I’ve gone from astonishment about the scope of it all, to laughing savagely at the jokes, to a cynicism about the inevitable script to unfold: the public contrition and claim of rehabilitation, the successful return to competition and the gradual refolding to the public breast.
Okay, poor word choice there, but it does point to the one unpredictable, and potentially hilarious element of The Next Phase–the gallery following Tiger around. It surely won’t be any smaller than the former hordes he attracted, but the potential commentary is intriguing to ponder. What happens after some joker lets loose the first bellow of the old, “Get in the hole!”?
Depends on reactions to the inevitable script, I imagine. There will be guffaws and snickers and possible torment for Tiger as every move he makes is freighted with double entendre, or such vocal louts will be stoned to death for their insensitivity to golf’s risen Phoenix.
The inevitable script also suggests that the broadcast media will go ostrich, and treat any such razzing like a streaker at the World Series–that is, ignore it, and pretend distasteful things never happen.
I could be wrong about that one, but time, as usual, will tell. Meanwhile, Happy Valentine’s Day, and Happy New Year for 4709, the Year of the Tiger.
[Click here to see a review of “The Swinger” and here for a piece about playing with Tiger.]