With the fickle nature of golf, all of us are sometimes are in need of plausible excuses for our shots that go astray. It can’t always be our fault and excuses serve as a way of freeing us of part of the blame.
Even the game’s best seem quick to tap down a ball mark or a cleat mark on the green when they miss a short putt, not wanting to admit they might have mishit the putt. I’m sure that with many pros still wearing spikes that on bent grass green that sometimes the excuse is valid. With most of us wearing soft spikes now, it’s not an excuse we amateurs can use very often.
With all the photographers at the professional events, a click of a camera can actually be a distraction for a professional as can a ringing cell phone for amateurs. In fact, unless you are a doctor on call, I think cell phones should be on silent when playing golf.
Having played the game for more than 50 years, I thought it might come in handy to share some of the reasons for your bad shots. Feel free to use them. In some cases, they may be legit. The most common excuses usually involve conditions on the golf course that you have no way to control.
If you are having trouble on the greens try one of these:
“I’ve never seen the cup there before. The hole cutter must have been drinking last night.”
“It’s hard to figure out how the ball is going to break on greens this bumpy.”
“No two greens are running at the same speed. It’s hard to figure how hard to hit them.”
Trouble getting out of the sand? Here’s why:
“The sand is just too soft, too hard or too wet or why did those guys in front of us not rake the bunker.
Depending on the weather or other related conditions, you can always say:
“It’s just too hot (a plausible one here in Texas this summer) or too cold.”
“I just can’t hold on to the clubs when it’s raining like this.”
“The sun was in my eyes.”
“The wind quit (or started) blowing as soon as I hit the ball.”
“Why do they always keep that area short of the green so wet?”
There are also these tied to your physical or mental state:
“My back (knee, blister on foot or whatever) is killing me.”
“I just took a lesson and that pro really confused me.”
“I just haven’t had time to play or practice lately.”
“I guess I partied too much last night.”
You can lay the blame on your equipment. This is better than actually breaking a club.
“I knew I shouldn’t have used these new clubs today.”
“This new driver isn’t going as far as the pro said it would.”
Of course, it’s easy to blame your fellow competitors, too:
“Why did you stand behind me on the tee?”
“You stepped on the line of my putt.”
“I wish you would quit talking when I am hitting.”
It’s funny how the guys who are taking your money don’t have many excuses, but this list should give you enough of them to share with them and give you a leg up on the other guys also whining.