Hot like a Bond girl, The Grove is a slinky, provocative five-star resort 30 minutes outside London. As you cavort through the black-velvet-lined hallways of the 19th-century manor house you can’t help thinking about a quick tryst behind the pettable curtains. Then you get to your room, which might feature surprises from a fireplace and piano to a red day-bed (beckoning like a casting couch) and a four-poster king crowned with ostrich feathers—perfect for tying up loose ends, if you know what I mean. Some rooms were specifically designed to be “Hot and Sexy,” decorated in black and aubergine with velvets and sheer fabrics and other sumptuous textures. Once the mansion of the Earl of Clarendon, the main building was the scene of lavish weekend parties for Queen Victoria and her posse in the notoriously sexy era when “Victoria’s secret” had an entirely different meaning. The Kyle Philips golf course out back is also full of delicious curves and knolls lolling across gorgeous grounds. If you can’t get lucky here, start looking for work as a cooler.
