Real Life Tiger Excuses

“It’s just my glutes are shutting off,” he said. “Then they don’t activate and then, hence, it goes into my lower back. So, I tried to activate my glutes as best I could, in between, but it just they never stayed activated.”

Tiger Woods after his withdrawal from the Farmers Insurance Open


My spreadsheet is not tying out? I activated the formulas but they must not have stayed activated.


Homework is hard and my brain is, like, shutting off. I tried to activate my brain but it just shut off, awright. Hence, TV


I tried to activate the engine and it really activated. In fact, I don’t know, Officer, how it activated so much. It must have been my glutes.


My groins are shutting off to you. They don’t activate and then it goes to my head. I tried to activate my groins as best I could and they just never stayed activated.


You ordered the steak medium? Well, apparently the heat activated the meat up to a temperature that was lower than you ordered. And, well, to be honest, the grill cook’s got a hammy. Can I bring you something else?


Glute activation is a hoax, Congressman. One can’t just decide to turn on and turn off glutes. They are always on.


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