Watch Your Back at Waikiki Wine Bars
A heated confrontation between PGA Tour veteran Robert Allenby and his caddie during Thursday’s first round of the Canadian Open led to a contentious midround split, with Allenby having a fan jump in to caddie for his last nine holes.
Allenby’s caddie Mick Middlemo was quoted on ESPN.com: “He said, ‘I can’t believe this fat [expletive deleted],’ loud enough for everyone to hear. There’s a lot as a caddie I can take but a personal attack like that. … If this was an office in any country in the world, that would be considered bullying. … I can take it if you call me the worst caddie in the world, tell me I’m horrible at picking clubs, but there’s a line you just can’t cross.”
Earlier this year, Allenby was involved in a strange off-course incident in Hawaii. Allenby’s caddie, Michael “Mick” Middlemo, told the Golf Channel that the 43-year-old, four-time PGA Tour winner spent Friday night at a wine bar in Waikiki when he was abducted, placed in a car trunk, beaten up and driven 6½ miles away.
According to the report, Allenby said he was robbed of all his cash, credit cards and cell phone. “You think … that happens in the movie, not real life,” Allenby told The Associated Press at the time.
“I’m just happy to be alive.” Allenby posted a photo on his Facebook account showing a facial injury that he said came from being thrown in the trunk of a car.
“I don’t know what they hit me with between the eyeballs, whether a fist or a baseball bat,” he said then. “Whatever it was, it hurts.”
Opening round of the Canadian Open
First Hole
“Okay, I got 57 back, 32 front, 46 pin.”
“You’re handing me the 8 iron?”
“Yeah.”
“Uh…”
“Yeah, boss”
“I hit my 8 146?”
“Well, yeah, lately.”
“Okay. Let’s go with it.”
Second Hole
“I think you should hit the 4.”
“That was some great advice on 1.”
“Yeah, well, it was a bit of a flyer lie and, uh, I thought the wind would hit it.”
“Did you? Did you think the wind would hit it?”
“Well, yes, that’s what I just said.”
“Did you have to hit a flop from 3 inch rough to the short side?”
“No. Obviously.”
“What?”
“It was a good bogey.”
Fourth Hole
“Okay what’s the line, brainiac?”
“I’ve got it about 8 inches with pace.”
“When I said brainiac, I was being facetious.”
“Oh. Okay. What’s ironic about that is that I’m actually smart enough to know when someone is being facetious.”
“That’s not irony, you idiot, that’s more like a contradiction to an assertion.”
“Oh, maybe you’re right. Let me see if I can use irony correctly, boss…is it ironic to be kidnapped from a wine bar? Is that irony?”
“Very [expletive deleted] funny.”
Seventh Hole
“Give me the putter.”
“Sure, boss. I’ll bet you $100 you miss this.”
“No.”
“Why not? Do you not have your wallet? Did all your cash get stolen in some weird kidnapping slash assault?”
“[Expletive deleted] you.”
Ninth Hole
“Do you ever wonder would it be like to be a golf club?”
“What?”
“Have you wondered what it would be like to be a golf club?”
“No. That’s a weird question.”
“Well, I thought you might know what it would be like.”
“Why?”
“Well, you’ve been hit and thrown in the trunk of a car. So…”
“I can’t believe this fat [expletive deleted].”
“I quit.”
