Overheard: Robert Allenby and His Caddie at the Canadian Open


Watch Your Back at Waikiki Wine Bars

Watch Your Back at Waikiki Wine Bars

A heated confrontation between PGA Tour veteran Robert Allenby and his caddie during Thursday’s first round of the Canadian Open led to a contentious midround split, with Allenby having a fan jump in to caddie for his last nine holes.


Allenby’s caddie Mick Middlemo was quoted on ESPN.com: “He said, ‘I can’t believe this fat [expletive deleted],’ loud enough for everyone to hear. There’s a lot as a caddie I can take but a personal attack like that. … If this was an office in any country in the world, that would be considered bullying. … I can take it if you call me the worst caddie in the world, tell me I’m horrible at picking clubs, but there’s a line you just can’t cross.”


Earlier this year, Allenby was involved in a strange off-course incident in Hawaii. Allenby’s caddie, Michael “Mick” Middlemo, told the Golf Channel that the 43-year-old, four-time PGA Tour winner spent Friday night at a wine bar in Waikiki when he was abducted, placed in a car trunk, beaten up and driven 6½ miles away.


According to the report, Allenby said he was robbed of all his cash, credit cards and cell phone. “You think … that happens in the movie, not real life,” Allenby told The Associated Press at the time.


“I’m just happy to be alive.” Allenby posted a photo on his Facebook account showing a facial injury that he said came from being thrown in the trunk of a car.


“I don’t know what they hit me with between the eyeballs, whether a fist or a baseball bat,” he said then. “Whatever it was, it hurts.”


Opening round of the Canadian Open


First Hole

“Okay, I got 57 back, 32 front, 46 pin.”

“You’re handing me the 8 iron?”



“Yeah, boss”

“I hit my 8 146?”

“Well, yeah, lately.”

“Okay. Let’s go with it.”


Second Hole

“I think you should hit the 4.”

“That was some great advice on 1.”

“Yeah, well, it was a bit of a flyer lie and, uh, I thought the wind would hit it.”

“Did you? Did you think the wind would hit it?”

“Well, yes, that’s what I just said.”

“Did you have to hit a flop from 3 inch rough to the short side?”

“No. Obviously.”


“It was a good bogey.”



Fourth Hole

“Okay what’s the line, brainiac?”

“I’ve got it about 8 inches with pace.”

“When I said brainiac, I was being facetious.”

“Oh. Okay. What’s ironic about that is that I’m actually smart enough to know when someone is being facetious.”

“That’s not irony, you idiot, that’s more like a contradiction to an assertion.”

“Oh, maybe you’re right. Let me see if I can use irony correctly, boss…is it ironic to be kidnapped from a wine bar? Is that irony?”

“Very [expletive deleted] funny.”


Seventh Hole

“Give me the putter.”

“Sure, boss. I’ll bet you $100 you miss this.”


“Why not? Do you not have your wallet? Did all your cash get stolen in some weird kidnapping slash assault?”

“[Expletive deleted] you.”


Ninth Hole

“Do you ever wonder would it be like to be a golf club?”


“Have you wondered what it would be like to be a golf club?”

“No. That’s a weird question.”

“Well, I thought you might know what it would be like.”


“Well, you’ve been hit and thrown in the trunk of a car. So…”

“I can’t believe this fat [expletive deleted].”

“I quit.”

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