Charlie Sheen's latest high-profile challenge is his attempt to save the golf industry.
April 1, 2011 – Dateline: Hollywood, CA
Vowing revenge on Warner Brothers and CBS, recently fired Two and a Half Men star Charlie Sheen has come up with the perfect counterattack – golf. “Hey, the golf industry’s been hurting ever since the stupid media made that stupid thing out of Tiger Wood’s womanizing,” noted Sheen, who famously lives with two young women known collectively as the Goddesses. “Like me, Tiger got a bum rap. I mean everyone knows I drink Tiger’s blood, not sure what he drinks, maybe Gatorade, but it was clearly working.” After rambling incoherently for several minutes, Sheen returned to the topic at hand. “15 million people each week tuned in to see me crack wise – and that’s not counting Argentina, where my show is called ‘Dos Hombres y Medio’ – hey I bet Angel Cabrera watches it!” After a brief discussion of Argentinean history and politics, and other countries where he is a huge star, including China (好汉两个半), Finland (Kaks ja pool meest) and France (Mon Oncle Charlie), Sheen returned to his idea for Play Golf Instead Day. “So imagine if I told my 15 million fans to skip primetime and play golf instead? Good for golf, bad for CBS. It’s a win-win.” When reminded that CBS airs the Masters, and that an uptick in golf popularity might actually help the network, Sheen responded mysteriously. “Augusta National? I’m in talks to buy that place.”
April Fools!
